


This Love

by imagineheadcanonsarea



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse, American Horror Story: Coven, American Horror Story: Murder House
Genre: F/F, Love, Rewrite, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2019-11-04 15:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17900627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagineheadcanonsarea/pseuds/imagineheadcanonsarea
Summary: Madison kept staring at the girl across the table all night. People were passing food around, talking, laughing, sharing stories and having fun. But Madison couldn’t bring herself to feel the same. Madison was surprised to have a third chance on life for sure, even if the world was showing more and more everyday that it will end sooner than people would like. Zoe was finally looking at her. Madison wanted to jump over the table and tackle the girl to the ground.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank the amazing @hopingforevil for helping me out with this fic and checking the grammar for me, you're awesome!  
> Go follow us on Tumblr to see more content about American Horror Story and crazy fanfiction!  
> @imagineheadcanonsarea

Madison kept staring at the girl across the table all night. People were passing food around, talking, laughing, sharing stories and having fun. But Madison couldn’t bring herself to feel the same. She wasn’t hungry and she wasn’t happy. Well, she wasn’t usually happy, but that’s not the point.

Zoe was talking with Mallory and Queenie with a big smile on her face, waving a potato on her fork while listening to her best friend talk about her time playing cards with the creepy ghost at the hotel. Since she got back, Madison hadn’t had time to exchange a word with the girl. Zoe ran away from her like the plague during their time in the Outpost, and then Madison had to go to the Murder House to help some ghosts to get laid. The second she stepped back into the Academy, the witches were talking about the new Supreme and she was dragged to that stupid dinner.

Madison was surprised to have a third chance on life for sure, even if the world was showing more and more everyday that it will end sooner than people would like. If Mallory was the solution, Madison was sure they would all die and go live in hell holding hands. All she wanted to do was to fix things before Cordelia sent her away again.

But Zoe wasn’t even looking at her.

The former actress had to fight the urge to kick her under the table to get her attention. She wasn’t even sure what she was going to say, but she just wanted the girl to _look_ at her.

“Why are you burning holes into Mallory’s head?”

Madison almost laughed in the girl’s face. Coco – what a stupid name – was an idiot if she thought Mallory was her issue in life. “She’s not that special, bitch.”

Zoe was finally looking at her. Really? She just had to insult someone to have the other girl glaring back at her? Madison wanted to jump over the table and tackle the girl to the ground. She wanted to take the stupid potato off the fork and make her swallow it. She wanted to get up, turn around the table, and hug Zoe. She wanted to scream at her, but she also wanted to hold her close.

Time in hell was nothing but an empty room to fill with more hate toward costumers and to think. And think she did. That was the only thing she could do other than hear people screaming at her and folding towels.

She had plenty of time to think about all she had done in life that made her go there. If that was God’s plan when he sent people to Hell, he sure was doing some good work, she thought. Madison had done a lot of things in life that could be a reason or even the cherry on top that sent her to hell, but she didn’t regret any of it. Well, she regretted one thing, but she was trying to fix that.

If only Zoe would stop staring at her like that, she might be able to speak again.

“Is there any problem?” Zoe looked older, wiser. Of course Madison was expecting that, she did spent two years in hell and time don’t stop in real world like it stops there, so Zoe had time to catch up their age gap. But it wasn’t her look that made her seem older, no. It was her eyes. Madison, or anyone really, could see how wise the girl was, how smart. Responsible, even.

Madison was impressed. If her time in hell made Zoe look older, but it only made her look more miserable. The blonde was miserable in hell and she was now feeling miserable when she got out of it. She felt hopeless too.

“Not at all.” Madison replied in a sarcastic tone. “Just wondering if you aren’t already bored with the poor version of the Swamp Rat and the fat version of Oprah.”

Zoe finally put her stupid fork back on her plate, passing the tip of her tongue on her lips while turning completely to Madison. “Can’t you respect anyone but yourself?”

She was screwing up again, Madison realized. She didn’t even try, but she was already failing hard. “Whatever.” Madison pushed her empty plate away from her and got up. “I don’t need to be here, anyway.” She declared, walking away right after.

“Madison.” She ignored Cordelia’s voice – who the fuck she think she is bossing her around like that? – and went up the stairs.

Madison wasn’t sure where to go from there. Her old room was surely occupied by someone else, or it was all reserved for Zoe now that she was part of the council, and she didn’t know if there were any empty rooms. Madison didn’t have time to go back before being sent away to the Murder House, so she didn’t even know if there was a space for her there. Cordelia was sending her away again in just two days, so the answer was probably ‘no, no place for you here’.

She was about to burst in a random room and take it as her own, when she sensed someone getting close to her. Madison recognized the magical signature, but it was even stronger that she remembered. How many responsibilities had she gained the last couple of years? She wondered.

“Where are you going?”

“Away from the losers.” Madison mocked, letting go of all the insecurities she felt just a few seconds before.

Zoe looked her up and down and Madison started to feel exposed in her short, tight dress. She felt more than exposed, she felt worthless. “Aren’t you cold?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because you’re shivering.” Zoe pointed out. Madison registered that she was looking more and more impatient. “Do you want me to...”

“No. Why do you care? Why did you come after me?” The smaller girl took a step back. She couldn’t stay too close, not when Zoe was looking so good in her black dress, not when the other girl looked ready to rip her throat out. “I let you die. I didn’t bring you back. Why do you even care if I’m anything but dead?”

Zoe took a moment to answer, looking at the older girl like she was a puzzle to be solved, like she was an enigma, like she was insane even. “I do remember that, yes.” The dark blonde crossed her arms just for a second, before letting them fall by her sides again. “Queenie told me.”

“Of course the poor Oprah would do that.” Madison rolled her eyes, trying to hide the fear on her face. “Where is your puppy slash zombie boyfriend?”

“He was expelled.” Zoe’s answer came fast and short, but she didn’t seemed angry or sad. She still had yet to stop looking at Madison’s eyes, and that was getting on the actress’ nerves. “For killing a witch. I don’t know where he is right now, if that’s what you want.”

“Why aren’t you with him?”

“Why aren’t you with us at the table?”

They stared at each other, neither daring to look away from the others gaze. “Cordelia is sending me to stay with the Swamp Bitch and her Swamp Queen.” Madison finally spoked. “Since I don’t have any use in this place.” Even with her best effort, her voice still cracked a little. She hated herself for that.

“Don’t be mean to Misty.” Zoe’s voice had got softer. “She just came back from hell.”

“So did I.” You just weren’t there to see me offering the  Antichrist a blow job, she thought. “In case you forgot.”

“I didn’t.” Madison crossed her arms, ready to speak again, but Zoe beat her to it. “I’m sorry Kyle killed you.”

That caught her off guard. She wasn’t expecting Zoe to be sorry for it. In fact, Madison was kinda expecting she would be sad that she came back to life. “You should train your dog a little bit better the next time, assuming you don’t want that to happen again.”

The taller girl sighed and shrugged. “He was sad I was dead. But still wrong of him to choke you to death.”

Madison was even more surprised the girl knew how she died the second time. Did Zoe refuse to bring her back too? Did everyone refuse to bring her back? “Did you go to hell when... you know?”

“I don’t think so.” Zoe thought about it for a second. “If I did, it was so fast I don’t remember it.”

Madison was happy. The girl didn’t deserve to live in hell, not even for a couple of minutes. They were so different from each other, the perfect representation of yin and yang, that the former actress could laugh if she wasn’t about to freak out. “I’m sorry for not bringing you back. For someone who has been dead before, I should know that it sucks, so I shouldn’t have let you stay like that.”

“Why did you?” Zoe looked lost for a second, like she forgot two years had passed and that she was more powerful now that she was before.

Madison wondered if she ever tried to teleport again after that day. “I don’t know.”

Zoe scoffed. “Right.”

“I’m serious. I didn’t find out why until I was in hell and some stupid manager was screaming at me because of some towels.” Madison took a deep breath. “I don’t think I figured it out until a few minutes ago, actually.”

“Do you know why, now?”

“Yeah.” Madison uncrossed her arms and looked down to her feet. She was feeling tired, something she has to get used to feel again. “But I don’t want to talk about it now.”

“Why not?”

“Because Cordelia is sending me away in two days.” Madison looked up again. In the back of her mind, she realized they had been standing in some random hallway for almost twenty minutes now. “And I don’t know when I will be back. If I will be back, because she don’t seem to want me around much.”

Zoe looked away from her eyes for the first time since they started to talk. Her eyes flicked to Madison’s lips, before meeting her eyes again. “I’m pretty sure it’s not it. Cordelia has a plan.”

Madison felt like she could sleep on her feet at any moment. You can’t feel tired in hell, she wasn’t used to the feeling that climbed her body. “Whatever.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me?”

“Not now, no.”

“When?”

“When I’m back.”

Zoe almost smiled. Almost. “Why?”

“Because I can’t deal with that right now.” Madison’s honesty took Zoe by surprise, but the smaller girl didn’t even care that her bitch facade was gone.

“Come on, let’s go.” Zoe tried to take Madison’s hand on hers, but the other girl took another step back.

“What?”

“To the bedroom. You seem tired.”

“I don’t have a room.”

Zoe rolled her eyes. “My room, you can sleep there.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to.”

“But why?”

“Did you ask Satan’s Son that many questions too or is it just me?”

A small, almost unnoticed, smile crossed Madison’s lips for only a second. “I didn’t care about him.”

Zoe arched both of her eyebrows. “And you care about me?”

“Let’s just say that I would mind if you died.”

“You must be really tired to say those things.” Zoe sighed again, finally managing to hold Madison’s hand with hers. “Come on.”

Madison followed her blindly to the room’s door. She wasn’t sure if she was doing it right this time, but it seemed like it.


	2. Chapter 2

Madison’s head was pounding when she woke up. Relief was the first thing she felt, that was something she felt everyday she woke up still out of hell. But then she started to regret her decision to skip dinner last night, because that gave her some awful headache and an empty stomach. Madison considered going back to sleep to see if any of those feelings would go away, but she knew it wasn't going to work. She wanted to sleep to avoid the glare she could feel coming from the girl next to her.

Cordelia did think about her after all and her old bed was back on the opposite side of the room from the double bed that belonged to Zoe. Madison had passed out the minute her head hit the pillow, she didn’t even take off her clothes from the previous night, she just jumped in bed while Zoe was talking and was sleeping before she even realized it. The covers were on her, so she assumed she had thought about covering herself before falling asleep (she didn’t think that Zoe had done that, not after everything she had done to the other girl).

Her eyes weren’t open yet, but she could sense Zoe’s glare on her. She was used to that. The glares people gave her, the whispers, the grimace. She would be lying if she said she didn’t care about it. Madison did care,  a lot, about what people think about her, she just didn’t let anyone know about that side of her.

It’s easier that way.

Unless the person doing it is Zoe.

“I know you’re awake.”

Madison almost used transmutation to get away, but she would be worse anywhere else. “Are you a creep now? Staring at me while I sleep.”

She heard Zoe scoffing, and felt movement on the bed, the sheets being pulled away. Madison assumed the girl was getting up for the day. She wishes she never had to leave that room. Or Zoe. “You have to get up if you want to eat breakfast.”

Madison was starving, her stomach was doing the stupid noises she hated so much, and her head was pounding. “I don’t want anything.”

“You didn’t eat last night.”

“Congrats, Sherlock.” Madison finally opened her eyes, but refused to look at the girl across the room. The room wasn’t painted white anymore, she hadn’t realized that when she entered last night. The ceiling was black, the walls were grey, except for the one that held the door, which was also black. Anyone else would have felt like the room had no joy, no feelings, no color. But Madison could see it. She could see Zoe in every detail. Like she never lived there to start with.

“You can borrow some of my clothes, if you want.” Zoe had gotten up and was walking to the wardrobe in the corner. They stayed in silence while she chose her clothes for the day, before going to the bathroom.

“I bought new stuff in California.” Madison said, finally looking at the other witch’s back while she walked out of her view.

“What about the dress you were using when you showed up with Michael?” Madison heard the shower starting, but Zoe came out of the bathroom still using her clothes. “Did you stop to shop before getting there?”

Madison shrugged. It actually had been fun, but she wasn’t going to say that out loud, because Queenie was with them and she would never admit she had fun with the girl. “I made him.”

Zoe arched one eyebrow. “Okay. Well, you didn’t get your suitcase last night, I think is still in the living room, so you should get something either way.”

“I’m fine.”

Zoe hesitated for a few seconds, then turned around, entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Madison was looking back at the ceiling after that. They threw all of her stuff out. Zoe redecorated the room so it looked like Madison was never there. Cordelia sent her away again.

She was glad to be out of Hell, but her third chance on life wasn’t something she was particularly enjoying.

Before Madison even moved out of bed, Zoe came out of the bathroom, wearing her new clothes, nice black pants and a black t-shirt of some band Madison only heard about, hair kind of wet, not wearing make-up. Once again, they just stared at each other.

“Do you want me to go get your things?” Madison didn’t answer her question. “Madison, you have to talk to me, I don’t read minds.”

Madison sat on bed, finally. She brought her knees to her chest, but kept her face straight and free of emotions. “Where is my stuff?”

Zoe frowned. “I told you. You left them in the living room last night.”

“No. My stuff, from before I... the things that used to be there too.” Madison used her head to point at the wardrobe.

If there was anyone in the world who knew Madison Montgomery, that person would be Zoe – and Cordelia, since she has known the actress for much longer. Zoe and her were roommates. Zoe saw her after being drugged and abused. Zoe saw her waking up during night in the middle of a nightmare. Zoe heard her screaming for help in her sleep. Zoe had searched for her when she died the first time, when no one else had the job to do it. She took away Zoe’s virginity somehow, if the whole killing her boyfriend with her vagina didn’t count. Or the killing a guy at the hospital with her vagina also didn’t make the final cut.

But Zoe didn’t know her. So she didn’t have any idea of how upset Madison was to not have her stuff back with her.

“Well...”

“You just threw it out? You needed space in the closet? Did you just put everything on a bag and put in the garbage?” Madison intendedg to sound more demanding, but she wasn’t feeling anything. She felt empty inside.

Zoe looked deep on her eyes for a couple of seconds. Madison could swear she was looking directly into her soul, which was a stupid thought of course. “I suppose Kyle did. He told everyone you had left to go back to Hollywood. When I came back to the room, your stuff was gone, and so were you.”

“You said you knew where I was.”

“We found out, eventually.” Zoe started to move again. She grabbed her shoes and put them close to the door, and started to make her bed. Without magic. “That’s when Kyle got sent away.”

Madison looked at her in silence for another minute. “I had some good stuff there. If I see the boy again, he’s dead.”

The taller girl rolled her eyes, finally putting her shoes on. “Are you going to stay in bed all day?”

“I wish.” Madison whispered, throwing the sheets off and getting up. She made a stop when she reached Zoe by the door. “You better be back before I leave the shower.”

Zoe rolled her eyes one more time. To Madison’s surprise, she bent over to give a peck on her lips. Madison eyes widen in surprise when Zoe took some space between them. The taller girl didn’t look like anything different had just happened. “Don’t worry. Besides, you take forever in shower, I can take my time.”

“What the hell was that?”

“You’re the one who was there, why don’t you tell me?” Zoe teased her, before opening the door and turning around to leave.

She didn’t even take a step out, before Madison’s hand grabbed her wrist to stop her. “Zoe...” Madison wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t sure what to do.

Zoe had turned around to look at her eyes again. She loved Madison’s green eyes ever since the day she first got to the Academy and got stuck in the ground with the actress on top of her. They looked so damn pretty. “It took me forever to find out too, don’t worry.”

Madison got even more confused. “I’m leaving tomorrow.” She whispered, looking so fast at Zoe’s lips that the other girl thought she might had imagined it.

“You told me that already. It’s okay.” Zoe smiled. “I just wanted you to know.”

“Know what?”

“That I care.” The taller girl took a step closer, closing the door again. No one needs to see this. “About you.”

“I didn’t bring you back.” That was the only thing crossing Madison’s mind since the day it actually happened. She had regretted her decision the minute she walked away, but it was too late to try to save it. Cordelia brought her back from dead, even if Madison was pretty capable of doing it.

“You also killed Misty.” Zoe whispered, not sure if that was the right thing to say. “And you were really mean to Queenie and Nan. And also Cordelia.” She took Madison’s hand on hers. “But people also hurt you. Badly. I don’t know how, I only know about one of the times, but I know you have been hurt before.” Madison tried to pull away, but Zoe wasn’t having it. “I’m not saying I wasn’t hurt about it, but I suppose you’re also hurt no one brought you back from dead either.”

“I... I don’t... Let me...”

“We never found out where your body was. Cordelia tried, but you were too deep in the ground to be found.” Zoe looked at their hands. “I hated myself for not bringing you back.”

Madison pulled her hand out of the other girl’s grip. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. I’m back anyway.” She was mad, but not even Madison knew why she was feeling that way. “Go get my suitcase.” It was a demand.

The smaller girl had turned around and walked to the bathroom before Zoe could say anything else. Madison Montgomery was an enigma, for sure, but Zoe was done pretending she wasn’t trying to figure it out.

With a deep sigh, she opened the door one more time and left. Inside the bathroom, Madison was curled up on the corner of the shower, knees strongly held on her chest, tears rolling through her face, sobs shaking her body.

She felt hopeless again.


	3. Chapter 3

Madison didn’t see Zoe when she got out of the shower, but her suitcase was in her improvised bed. For a couple of minutes, the actress debated going back to bed and sleeping all day, but Cordelia wanted to talk with her, and Madison was done letting the woman down.

She hoped.

With a deep sigh, Madison started to look over her clothes. She didn’t have much. Being in hell wasn’t a job, so she wasn’t getting payed for it, and all she had was the money of former jobs she did, which wasn’t very much. Madison considered talking with her family when she went to the Murder House with the stupid warlock, but that would be no good, so she just went with the things she could afford now.

She choose a black skirt, with a black cropped shirt and her black boots. Her make up was done in just a few minutes thanks to practice, and she gave one last deep sigh before leaving the room.

The hallway was empty, much like the last night, but she could hear voices coming from down the stairs. Madison looked around quickly to see if there was anyone coming, before teleporting to the living room. She didn’t want anyone accusing her of being lazy, especially Cordelia.

To her surprise, Zoe was just entering the room, followed by six other girls. Madison was confused for only a second, before remembering what she had heard about Zoe being a teacher at the Academy.

“Class will start in five minutes, make sure you have your books.” Zoe called behind her shoulder when she stopped and pointed the girls to go to the next room. Madison could see how mature she looked. Zoe Benson wasn’t a confident person when they first met, but there she was, leading a group of girls, looking like she owned the place. She looked better doing it than Cordelia ever did, Madison thought. “You’re up.”

Madison waited until the last girl got inside the room, before using her powers to close the door behind her. “Not because I want to” She rolled her eyes. “Where is Cordelia’s office? In the same shithole?”

Zoe sighed. “Yes, is still in the same place. But she’s in the kitchen now. You know, eating. Something you should also do.”

Madison’s stomach made that stupid sound again. “I’m fine.”

“Why are you punishing yourself?”

Madison was caught off guard again. Zoe seemed to be doing that a lot since they talked last night, and she hated it. “Did you spend too much time with those stupid girls or is it all you?”

A flash of hurt crossed Zoe’s face and Madison started to hate herself even more. Madison had so many plans while she was in hell. If she ever got out (something she was losing hope more and more everyday, since Langdon appeared), Madison would make things different. Well, not totally different, just different with Zoe. The girl had given her much more than anyone ever gave her. She cared, Madison could see it. She cared when she saw her completely blacked out on the bed at the party. She cared when Madison was crying in the shower. She cared when Madison went days without eating. She cared when Madison disappeared when stupid Fiona killed her. Zoe was the only one who cared enough to go search for her and asked the Swampy to bring her back to life.

And Madison never gave her more than snap comments and a bitch attitude.

Madison was happy that Nan wasn’t around anymore, because that way she could have her thoughts just for her again. And since it was like that, Madison had to admit she was scared. Zoe never showed anything less than kindness towards her, and Madison was scared. She was waiting for Zoe to stab her in the back. She’s still waiting for it, if she’s being honest.

No one ever treated her like she was more than a piece of meat, something that could be used and then throw away. Not until Zoe. Zoe scared her more than Hell.

“I will eat.” Madison whispered, looking at her boots.

“You don’t have to do it.”

“Do what?” Madison knew what she was talking about, but she really wanted to play dumb for a few seconds. “You told me to do it.”

Zoe rolled her eyes. “Madison...” She bit her bottom lip, before sighing again. “I’m happy you’re back. I missed you. I don’t know why, since you keep talking to me like that, but I did.” Zoe looked at the gorgeous green eyes, feeling braver than ever. “I need to get to class.”

“Good luck.” Madison half-joked.

“Thank you.” Zoe hesitated for only a second, before bending to give the other girl a kiss.

Madison cared about a lot of things in her life. The way she looked, the way she acted, the way people thought about her. But she had met the Antichrist, she had met his family, some crazy ghosts stuck in an ugly house, she knew the end of the world was closer than ever. And she knew that she  has had feelings for Zoe for much longer than she would like to admit. So Madison didn’t just stand there like a statue like the last time, she moved her lips against Zoe’s lips. Slowly, caring, loving.

“Madi...”

They jumped away when they heard Cordelia’s voice. Zoe blushed so hard that both thought she might pass out, but Madison only rolled her eyes, putting back her facade to turn around and look at her former teacher. “Yes, Cordi?” She mocked, kind of angry because of the intrusion.

“I was wondering if you’re ready for our meeting.” Cordelia looked like she had saw a ghost, looking between both of the girls, not sure if she should mention what she saw or not.

“Whatever.”

Zoe poked her on her side. “You need to eat.” She reminded the other girl in a whisper.

Cordelia was even more surprised when Madison blushed a little. Maybe she was dreaming, because she never thought she would see what she had just seen.

“I will meet you in the office, Cordi.” Madison said, walking to the kitchen like she owned the whole place.

Cordelia arched her eyebrow towards Zoe, who still was red as a tomato. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Zoe took a deep breath, not sure if she should say anything. But it was Cordelia, her mentor, her teacher, her motherly figure in the house. She trusted Cordelia with all her heart. “I love her. I have for a while now.” She confessed, looking at her hands.

Cordelia smiled at her student, no, council member. “Have you told her that already?” Zoe only shook her head, which made Cordelia nod. “You should, before is too late.”

“Again.” Zoe whispered under her breath.

“Yes.” Cordelia agreed, her smile becoming sad and kind of dreamier. “Believe me, you’re going to regret if you let her go without saying anything.” Zoe looked at her Supreme, a little taken aback by her worlds. “Stevie’s house is far and Skype isn’t enough.”

The younger girl gave her a friendly smile. “She’s going to be back. Besides, Misty is with Stevie, I bet she’s having the time of her life.”

Cordelia laughed. “Oh, yes, much more than she could ever have here.” She used her hand to stroke Zoe’s arm. “But not Madison. I don’t want to get in the middle of you life, or anything.”

“No, I’m thankful for you saying all this.”

“Good. Now go to class before the girls think they’re free for the day. We need to get them ready for what’s coming.”

“Geez, you two need some tea there?” Madison had come back to the room, arms crossed. “How long are you two going to chat?”

“We’re done, Madison.” Cordelia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Let’s go, we have some details to discuss.”

Madison followed Cordelia through the hallways until they reached a beautiful white door in the last floor. She hated that place, she was sent there too many times to feel comfortable in the room, but she still got in with the Supreme and sat on the chair the older woman pointed at.

“So, what is it?” She tried to look as bored as she could, but honestly Madison was just wondering when she would be able to go to bed and go back to sleep.

“We need to talk about you going to meet Misty and Stevie tomorrow.” Cordelia opened one of her drawer, taking a piece of paper out of it, before siting down and slide the paper towards Madison. “This are some spells to protect the house, I’m sure you can execute them without a problem.”

“Can’t Swamp Queen or Swamp Rat do it?” Madison took the paper either way, looking at it with a frown. There was three spells on it, but she had only heard about one.

“Misty is still trying to find her magic again and Stevie will be there to help you do it, if you need.” Cordelia decided to ignore the rude comments. “After that, you need to go to Misty’s shack and execute the same spells on it. We might need to use it in some point in the future.”

“You want me to go to that stupid swamp? Are you crazy?”

Cordelia sighed, massaging her temple. “Yes, I want you to go there. All is clean and good, just needs some spells to protect the area from Langdon.”

“Clean?” Madison mocked. “What? Did you go there after Swampy died?” The actress held back her next comment when she saw tears coming up Cordelia’s eyes. Even her, someone who hated feelings and relationships, could see that the Supreme had a thing for the Swamp witch. You know, stabbing her own eyes to find where the girl was kind of the last hint. “Fine, I’ll go. Not like I can help here anyway.”

The Supreme almost rolled her eyes to that. “You’re going because I know I can trust you with the job.”

“You said I wasn’t loyal to anyone but myself just a few days before.”

“I was wrong.” Cordelia admitted with a smile. “You’re a good person, Madison, even if you don’t show it much. Besides, you already proved to me that you can do it. You went to the Murder House and collected the right informations that we needed.”

Madison decided not to say anything mean again, not that she had it in her to do it again. “And after that? After I go to your girlfriend’s dirt house, what do I do?”

“You come back.” Cordelia gave her a warm smile, that Madison returned for a slight second. “You can help teach the other girls how to protect themselves, we’ll need it.”

“I’m not going to be a teacher.” Madison rolled her eyes, getting up and walking to the door. “But I suppose I could teach this bitches how to do magic right.”

Cordelia had an affectionate smile while she watched her older student heading out of her office.


	4. Chapter 4

Madison didn’t have many things to do during the day, since she refused to enter any of the classrooms to teach the young girls anything. She went through social media for a while, until she read a few things about herself that made her throw her phone to the side, she went to the kitchen to find something else to eat besides the apple she ate because Zoe made her, she went back to Cordelia’s office with some lame excuse just to spare some time, she tried to stay in the same room as Myrtle, but she was playing that weird instrument of hers that Madison hated, so she walked away. She even spent half an hour with Bubbles, before sending her to hell and walking away. Madison got to a point where she even considered talking with Queenie, but just like Zoe, the girl was teaching some stupid class.

So Madison had to try to keep herself busy to avoid letting her mind travel to places she really didn’t want to go. Like hell, or her childhood, or the first party she took Zoe to. Madison didn’t have many things, so she really didn’t need to pack all over again, but that’s what she did just before lunch. Twice.

When she was just about to start over, the room’s door opened. Madison had sensed her getting closer, but actually having Zoe there was a breathtaking event alone. “Hey, it’s lunch time.”

Madison managed to not roll her eyes that time. She realized it was a habit she really needed to drop. “I just ate.”

“Oh, yeah?” Zoe entered the room completely, closing the door behind her. “Breakfast doesn’t count as...”

“It’s not what you think, just so you know.” Madison turned around, holding her cigarette pack in one hand and her cellphone in the other. “I’m not anorexic or some shit like that. My mom had doctors test me already, so don’t worry.” The blonde pulled a cigarette out of the pack, putting it between her lips.

But before she could light it (Zoe assumed she was going to use her powers, since she couldn’t see any lighter), the taller girl crossed the room and took the thing out of Madison’s lips. The actress arched both of her eyebrows, surprised by the action.

“Tell me you’re not going to give me a lecture about lung cancer.” Madison crossed her arms. “My mom did that too.”

Zoe sighed. “No, it’s just... I wanted to kiss you before you kill your breath with it.” She blushed a little – a lot.

The blonde also blushed, but managed to hide it with her bitch attitude. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have taken so long to do it then.” Grabbing Zoe’s shirt, she pulled her closer to give her a kiss. She did intended for it to be short, but soon they were lost in each others. Madison did see hell, twice in fact, but if she had to guess what heaven looked like, it would be Zoe’s lips, for sure. For someone who only kissed like five people, she was actually amazing at it.

Zoe had to let her go when she needed to pull away for some air, but she leaned so their foreheads were touching. Her hands were on Madison’s waist, while the other girl’s arms were around her neck. “I wish I was brave enough to say something before... before you died.”

“Which time?” Madison did intend to say it as a joke, but even she was kinda of sad with the fact. Dying wasn’t like going for a ride. It was horrible, and Madison hated to remember it. “Too soon for the joke?”

Zoe rolled her eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe that’s why you didn’t say anything.” The actress whispered, before pulling away. She took the cigarette from Zoe’s hand and used pyrokinesis to light it.

“Why is that then?” Zoe asked while she watched as Madison took the cigarette to her lips. “Why don’t you eat?”

“I eat.” Madison shrugged. “Just don’t feel like it most of the time. Sometimes I even forget.”

The taller girl stroked her arm with the back of her hand. “Well, I’m here to help you remember now. And lunch is ready, so put that thing down and let’s go before Coco ruins the food with her powers.”

But before Zoe could actually turn around, Madison held her wrist. “What are we doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know... we’re kissing and stuff and...” The blonde sighed deeply, looking at the ground for a few seconds to collect her thoughts. “Never mind.” She looked back up, bitch facade back on. “Let’s go before...”

“Madison, are you aware of the fact that you mean a lot to me?” Zoe asked, stopping the girl from running away from the conversation. “Even before you got back, well, for the first time.”

“You had Kyle.” Madison snapped back. She hated that boy with all her power, for sure.

“You gave me Kyle.” Zoe whispered. “Of course I was sad that he died, because he tried to help, but... I never said I was sad because I had feelings for him.” She took a deep breath, entwined their fingers together. “Madison, I was moping around for days because of you, and not Kyle. First of all, I had a stupid crush on you and it seemed like you didn’t give a shit about me. But also, what happened to you, I...” Zoe shook her head, squeezing Madison’s hand more strongly. With her free hand, Madison smashed the untouched cigarette. “You assumed it was because of Kyle and dragged me to the morgue, and I don’t know I just went with it.”

Madison was, once again, surprised. Zoe was the only one that could do that to her, shake her world like that, and it scared her even more. “But you stayed with him after that.”

“I kinda felt like I should.” Zoe frowned. “He couldn’t even eat by himself and it was my fault, so I took care of him. And then you came with that idea of a threesome and...”

“You totally agreed with that.” Madison joked, giving the taller girl a smile.

Zoe blushed, letting go of Madison’s hand to cross her arms on her chest. “Shut up. You are the pervert who suggested it.”

“I don’t think you were calling me a pervert when...”

“I really don’t want to hear it.” Zoe rolled her eyes. “My point is that it was you the whole time, Madison. Not Kyle. And it broke my heart when I found out he had killed you, even more than when Queenie told me you refused to bring me back.” The brunette closed her eyes to avoid a tear rolling down her face. “I know you have good in you, I know you have your reasons to act the way you do, and I know you care.” Zoe took a step closer, holding Madison’s face on her hands and looking deep on the beautiful green eyes. “So yeah. I have feeling for you, Montgomery.” She finished with a small mock, stroking the other girl’s cheek with her thumbs.

“You shouldn’t. I’m too fucked up for you.” Madison tried to push away, but Zoe wasn’t having it. “I will destroy you.”

“The Antichrist is planning to destroy the world anyway, you won’t have the time to do it.” Bad joke, considering that Madison rolled her eyes to it. “I think you have to put more faith in yourself.”

“It doesn’t matter, anyway. I’m leaving tomorrow, so...”

“Gosh, you’re so dramatic.” Zoe giggled, turning around to open the door again. “You are only going for a couple of days, Cordelia already told me that, stop making it sound like you’re never coming back.”

“Who knows? Maybe the Langdon Boy appears to make me pay the blowjob I offered.”

Zoe stoped in her tracks. “You did what?”

“Well, I thought he wanted something in exchange to take me out of hell.” Madison quickly defended her actions, pushing Zoe out of the room.

“So you offered him a blowjob?”

“Not much I could offer in hell.” Madison shrugged, walking by Zoe’s side to reach the stairs.

“So you just offered a blowjob to the son of Satan?” The taller girl shook her head in disbelief.

“In my defense, I didn’t know who he was.”

“Of course, that totally makes it okay.”

Madison gave the brunette a teasing smile and suddenly Zoe was sure she had just decided her own destiny. “Are you jealous?”

“Oh, shut up.” Zoe jumped the last steps in her hurry to run from the blonde. “Besides, you were way more jealous of Kyle!” She shouted seconds before running to the kitchen before Madison could say anything. Some of the girls that were still in the living room turned around to look at the former actress, who had stopped in surprise.

“Bitch.” Madison whispered.


	5. Chapter 5

That night marked one of the biggest changes in Madison’s life – so far. She had stayed in her own bed while Zoe was in the living room with the other girls after dinner, since she refused to waste her time playing whatever was the game they were playing. Madison was trying to be less of a bitch, but, you know, baby steps. So she just laid there, looking at her cellphone for almost an hour.

Madison wasn’t doing anything except thinking.

Again.

Like she didn’t already do that enough in hell.

Her mind kept running around. Going back to hell, with the costumers and her manager; Going back to her childhood filled with distant parents and thousands of Hollywood works; Going back to the first time she died, the feeling of the knife cutting her throat and the blood running free until she took her last breath; Going back to the first time she was brought back from death, how her body felt already a little decomposed; Going back to Zoe’s face when she took her second first gasp of air in life; Going back to the second time she died, Kyle’s hand around her neck, squeezing so damn hard so she couldn’t breath, the burning on her lungs, her brain shutting out, her vision going darker... only to wake up in hell again.

She had the whole day to think about all of that. And about all of the things Zoe had said her. Madison didn’t like to think about feelings that much, but if she looked back a little, she sure would be able to see how she felt for the younger girl since the day their eyes first met. Kyle was a disaster, but he was also an excuse.

And life had decided to give her a third chance, so she was really willing to make things a bit different this time. Like being nicer to people, something that she already failed like a hundred times. If Madison took into consideration the fact that they were trying to stop the Antichrist from destroying the world, she could see how little time she had to actually be a better person.

But she also had a short time to make things right with Zoe, because if they failed, everything they know would be gone and she would be back to hell.

“Are you alive there?”

Madison let her phone fall from her hands in surprise. “Fuck!”

Zoe was standing in the door, a worried look on her face. “I entered and you just... didn’t move.”

The actress put her phone on the night stand to hide the blush on her face for a few more seconds. “I was distracted.”

“I sure could see that.” Zoe walked to Madison’s bed, sitting on the edge of it. “Are you ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know.” The brunette shrugged and took Madison’s hand in hers. “You seemed a little sad.”

Madison had to remind herself that she was trying to be a better person, specially for Zoe. “I was just thinking, that’s all.”

Zoe shook her head in understanding. “Can you... an, can you scoot over?”

“What?”

“Give me some space, will you?” Zoe playful poked Madison’s side to make her move, and the actress finally did it. The younger witch smiled while she laid down by the other girl’s side in bed. “That’s nice.”

Madison rolled her eyes to that, turning around to face Zoe. “Don’t get used to it, Benson.”

“Too late.” Zoe declared and opened her arms. “Come on.”

“No way. I still have limits.” Madison quickly turned around to face the wall, crossing her arms.

“Are you doing that so you can be the little spoon?” The brunette mocked, getting closer and closer. “Smart of you.”

Madison thought about two or three different answers, but all of them died on her throat when she felt Zoe’s arms closing around her. She almost cried when a strong feeling of belonging hit her. All her life, Madison never felt like she belonged anywhere. Her mother never payed much attention to her when she was younger, not until the woman realized she could be used to win some money by doing commercials and stuff. And after that, the only relationship she had with her mother was professional. Her father wasn’t in her life to love and support, he was just there to yell, call her stupid and a whore, and also hit on her mother when he got bored. All the other people in her life were just there because they wanted something. Friends that appeared when they needed money or some other stuff, family members that wanted to take advantage of her fame and many others who were gone the second they got what they wanted.

Madison never felt truly loved, never felt like people cared about her, never trusted anyone. Not until Zoe. And now that she had Zoe’s arms around her, the warm breath of the other girl on the back of her neck, Madison finally was feeling like she could be happy for the first time in her life. She would be okay.

“I’m glad you got it.” Madison whispered, taking the girl’s hand to pull her even closer.

“You’re not that hard to read, Montgomery.” Zoe mocked back.

Madison shrived a little from the cold, but still smiled. “So you think.”

The younger girl took one arm away from Madison to reach the blanket by the end of the bed, throwing it on them before hugging the girl again. “Oh, no. You hate action movies, talking with people and showing feelings.”

“Too easy.”

“You love candies and like people much more than you show.”

“I don’t. You’re just lying to yourself, trying to convince yourself that I’m actually a nice person.” Madison almost got away from the bed, back to her shell, away from Zoe and everything that made her feel good.

“Maybe I am.” Zoe sighed. “But I think you have to have more faith in yourself.”

“Go to sleep, Zoe. You can think about that some other day.”

“Fine, but we are having this conversation sooner or later.”

“You’re underestimating my ability to run away from things that make me uncomfortable.”

“Go to sleep. You can think about that some other day.” Zoe giggled a little, giving the girl’s shoulder a kiss and snuggling closer to get more comfortable.

They were both sleeping before they could even realize it.

Madison didn’t sleep in Hell. All the time there, she was bending towels and hearing costumers complain (not to mention the creepy manager), but she also didn’t have the need to sleep, so Madison was still trying to get used to it, to shut her thoughts and let her mind rest. Since she got back, she wasn’t able to do it. During her time in the Murder House, she couldn’t sleep at all, mostly because the ghosts kept walking around her room or were talking in the hallway, it was impossible to be able to rest with all that around her.

But having Zoe’s arms around her made things different. Madison felt... protected. It was silly to think like that, because Madison was more than able to protect herself if it came to it. Okay, Fiona and Kyle aside, because they caught her off guard, that’s why she couldn’t do anything to stop it, but Madison could perform six out of the Seven Wonders. So could Zoe, in fact. But it wasn’t just the feeling of protection, it was also a feeling she never felt before. Madison thought, right before falling asleep, that maybe she was finally back home.

When her cellphone rang the next morning to announce it was time to wake up, Madison almost sent all of her duties to hell. She was too comfortable to move. Zoe and her hadn’t moved away from the position they had slept in, but Madison was feeling a little warmer and Zoe was snoring really low – the blonde thought it was too cute. But Madison was trying to be a better person, so she couldn’t let Cordelia down like that.

With a heavy sigh, Madison moved Zoe’s hand off of her waist and opened her eyes. She was facing the wall and for the last time she thought about just staying in bed. Madison rolled around, getting on her knees, before crawling out of the bed and running to the bathroom, before Zoe could wake up.

Madison loved warm baths, so that’s exactly what she did for the next few minutes. She quickly got dressed and put on some make-up, checked Zoe to make sure she was still sleeping, before grabbing her suitcase. Madison was just opening the door to leave when she suddenly stoped and rolled her eyes to herself. She dropped her stuff and walked back to bed to give a kiss on Zoe’s head.

“You’re pathetic, Montgomery.” She whispered to herself, finally walking away.

Cordelia was waiting for her in the living room. Madison noticed how tired she looked, like she hadn’t slept in days and was doing nothing more than worrying around the house. Which, she assumed, was correct, since the Antichrist was trying to destroy the world and all that shit. Madison remembered Mallory, the sweet and naive girl who was supposed to be the next Supreme... after Cordelia died. The former actress shivered when she thought about how dying was horrific. Even if Cordelia and her had their differences, Madison had to admit the older woman was an excellent Supreme, and sure didn’t deserve to die.

“Good morning.” Cordelia gave her a smile. “How did you sleep?”

Madison almost blushed with that. “Morning.” She decided not to answer the question, putting her suitcase down. “Can I leave already?”

Cordelia sighed. “Yes, I called a cab to take you to the airport, but if you want to eat before you...”

“I’m fine.”

“You should eat, you skipped dinner.” Cordelia waved her left hand and a plate full of bagels showed up in front of them.

“That’s Swampie’s food.” Madison mocked, but took one off of the plate. “Missing your girlfriend too much?”

Cordelia rolled her eyes, waving the food away. “Speaking of it... Do you mind to take something with you?”

“Is it lingerie?”

“Madison...”

“Whatever.” Madison shrugged. “Just give me it and I will deliver it to your Swap Rat.”

“Please, don’t call her that.”

The younger girl looked at the ground for a second. “I’m sorry.”

That took Cordelia by surprise. In all the years she had known Madison, and Madison was her older student, she never ever heard those words coming out of the actresses mouth. “It’s okay.” The Supreme whispered, deciding not to make such a fuzz about it. Cordelia took a small bag that was resting by her feet and gave it to Madison. “Just give it to her, please.”

Madison resisted the urge to look through the things in the bag and only shook her head. “Fine.”

“Those are her clothes.” Cordelia explained with a sad smile. “I’m sure she’s missing them, even if Stevie lets her use whatever she wants to.”

“That is a lot of shit.” Madison rolled her eyes. “They both, and Misty Junior, could use some new stylist.”

“Misty Junior?” The Supreme frowned, confused by it.

The younger girl giggled a little. “Mallory. I suppose that if Misty and you had a child, Mallory would be the perfect representation of Swampie.”

“Just call Misty by her name when you two are together, please?”

“I will, but I’m not promising it won’t slide a few times.”

“That’s all I can ask.” Cordelia smiled at her again, while both walked to the door. “Have a nice trip, Madison.”

“Like that could be possible, can’t believe you’re going to send me to the swamps.”

“It’s for a good cause.”

“It better be.”

“Is there anything you want me to tell Zoe when she wakes up?”

Madison stopped on her tracks, looking at Cordelia like a second head had just appeared. “What?”

“Do you need me to give you a list of romantic phrases you can use or...?”

“Did you just made a joke?”

Cordelia laughed. “I’m only human.”

“Well, that was creepy, don’t do that again.” Madison started to walk to the car waiting for her outside, but stoped when Cordelia called her.

“We will miss you.”


	6. Chapter 6

Madison’s time at Stevie’s house was a complete waste of time, in her opinion. She used some crazy magic to protect the place, ate some food, had to stand the lunatic duo singing their songs and then had to listen to Misty talking about how much she missed Cordelia. For a whole hour, until Zoe finally called her and she got an excuse to leave without being rude (not being rude to any of them was being quite exhausting).

_“You were gone when I woke up today.”_

“You were passed out, I didn’t want to wake you up before time.” Madison didn’t had to look at Zoe while she was saying those things, which she assumed made things easier to be more open hearted about her feelings.

She could picture Zoe biting her bottom lip while thinking about something to say. _“Cordelia said you wanted her to tell me you would miss me.”_

Madison rolled her eyes, sitting in some chair at the back Yard and pulling out a cigarette. “Yeah, well, she lied.”

Zoe’s laugh came from the other side of the line and it made Madison’s heart flip a little. _“I could tell that.”_ There was a moment of silence were they just heard each other breathing in and out. _“So, how is it going?”_

“Well, it’s like I joined Woodstook, but is less cool, has less weed and they only play Fleetwood Mac songs.” Madison took a deep breath of her cigarette before talking again. “And Swampie won’t stop talking about Cordelia.”

_“You can’t blame her, they had been apart for two years.”_

“She didn’t even notice that, she was in Hell.”

_“Was it like that for you too?”_

Madison took almost a minute to finally answer that. Was it was like that to her? Of course. It’s Hell. It was different from Misty’s Hell, because every person has her own personal eternal suffering, but it is still Hell. You don’t know how much time has passed, you just have this feeling it has been a long time. Maybe even more than it has actually been. “Kind of.” She finally admitted. “They don’t have a calendar hanging on the walls there.”

It was time for Zoe to be quiet for a while. _“I’m sorry you had to be there for so long.”_

It wasn’t that long actually. Now that Madison is back and she knows how much time she spent there, she could tell it could be way worse. Like, you know, forever. But it still had a bad feeling in the back of her mind, something that brought an awful taste to her tongue and made her eyes fill with tears that she refused to let drop. “It doesn’t matter.” She was done with her cigarette, so she just pulled another one from the bag. “I suppose it’s better than the swamps.”

_“Don’t say that.”_

“It’s not going to be a walk in the park.” Madison scoffed, blowing the smoke away. “If I find any alligators there, I swear to God that I will kill all of them.”

Zoe didn’t laugh, but she didn’t sound too serious anymore when she talked again. _“Misty would be really upset.”_

“Well, that bitch can just bring them back when I’m away from that trash can.”

_“You should stop smoking, you know.”_

“Yes, I do know that.” Madison’s voice was full of sarcasm, but she managed not to roll her eyes that time. “Easier said than done.”

“ _Maybe the swamps will help you.”_ Zoe joked back. _“Hey, I have to go, they’re serving dinner and Cordelia wants to talk about the plans for tomorrow.”_

“What are the plans for tomorrow? Besides making me become some alligator food, of course.”

_“Oh, don’t be a baby about it. You’re going to be fine. And Queenie and I are going to teach the girls a spell that can protect them from evil forces.”_

A cold shiver crossed Madison’s spine in the thought of them having to make all of those spells to protect themselves from a crazy dude. She knew she was safe in Stevie’s house, but until she got to the swamps, anything could happen. Like anything could happen to the girls in the Academy. To Zoe.

“You better do a good job at it, you don’t want to look like a fool in front of your students.” That was how Madison said she cared, how she was scared that anything would happen to the other girl. And Zoe simply knew it, which made things much easier, of course.

 _“Hey, respect me! I’m a member of the Council.”_ Madison could hear the smile on Zoe’s voice, but she could also hear how proud she was of herself because of that. If anyone had asked Madison what she thought Zoe would become when they first met, the blonde would probably answer that the girl was too shy and awkward to get anywhere. But, oh, was Madison wrong!

“Don’t let that get into your head too much.” The blond threw the rest of her cigarette somewhere around her chair, finally calming down enough to stay without one. “Remember I’m still better at telekinesis.”

_“You sure were, before you got away to your vacation.”_

Madison could not believe Zoe had just made a joke about her time in Hell. They were healing together, for sure. “Is that a challange, Benson?”

_“You can bet your white little ass it is.”_

The former actress had such a big smile on her face, that she could start feeling her cheeks hurting. “So... you want that ass, huh?”

_“Let’s just say I can’t wait for you to be back.”_

“Fine, it’s a bet.”

“ _Perfect. I will set a few tasks for us.”_

Madison shook her head in amusement. “You should go, dinner has to be almost over already.”

_“Oh, damn! I forgot! I really have to go, I’m sorry.”_

“It’s ok, I will survive without you. Maybe not while listening to the awful songs coming from the living room, but I suppose it’s better than being deaf.”

_“That’s an awful thing to say.”_

“Do you really want to be more late?”

_“Shit, you’re right! I will call you in the morning, ok? Bye.”_

“Bye.” Madison whispered just before the line went dead.

She kept sitting there for another ten minutes, just looking at her cellphone, kinda hoping that Zoe would call her again or text her, but finally gave up when her body started to feel the weight of the day. Ignoring Misty calling for her to dance with them, Madison went to her room, quickly got ready for bed and was sleeping before she even realized.

The next morning, Madison found Misty in the kitchen when she was getting ready to leave.

“Imma sad ya already have to leave.” Misty said, mouth full of bagel.

“I’m not. The sooner as I go to the swamps, the sooner I go back to the Academy and away from you hippies.” Madison took a cup to make some tea for herself, but noticed how Misty’s frowned a little.

“I wish I could go with ya.”

“I’m sure you would have much more fun than me at that stupid and ugly place. Why did you even go to the swamps to live?”

“I wasn’t talkin’ ‘bout the swamp.” Misty shrugged, taking another bagel. “I was talkin’ ‘bout home.”

Madison stoped for a second, not sure what to say, noticing she really couldn’t be rude when the other witch was already looking sad. “Well, it’s full of teenagers now, so you’re better here, anyway. Less drama.”

Misty only shook her head, not sure if she agreed with that vision. “If ya say so.”

“I am.” Madison took her cup to the sink before Misty could go on about the subject. “Ok, I have to go.”

“Could ya do me a favor and check on Fred and Jones for me?”

“Oh God.” Madison sighed, rolling her eyes. “Who the fuck are Fred and Jones? If they are alligators, I swear to God they’re dead animals.”

“The ‘gators usually stay away.” Misty promised with a smile. “They are ma plants.”

“Fine. If I have nothing better to do and I have a few minutes, I will look to your stupid and probably dead plants, don’t worry.”

“Thank ya.”

“Yeah, well, you should thank me.”

Madison was about to get out of the kitchen to got take her things from the room, when Misty spoke again. “Ya should use other shoes.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

Turns out, Madison really should have listened to Misty, because as soon as she stepped on the mud, her high heels were gone. She got stuck and couldn’t walk at all, until she finally gave up and took the shoes out. Frowning all the way, Madison walked through the swamp until she finally saw Misty’s shack close to the water.

“If I get a disease, I swear to God.” Madison whispered, shaking her leg to try to get some of the mud off. “What a stupid idea. Let’s just send Madison to the swamps to make some useless thing and get dirt, maybe she get a fucking disease and die.” She finally reached the shack, stepping in the front porch and looking at her legs. It was not as bad as she thought it would be, only her feet were dirty, and no insects or other animals were walking on her skin, but she definitely was going to clean her legs with alcohol. Quickly looking at her watch, it was almost noon, she decided to do the spells as fast as possible so she could leave and go back to the Academy. No way in Hell she would spend the night in that place.

Madison was just about to start the spell when she heard something coming from inside the shack. She turned around to look at the wood door, not sure what to do. Cordelia had promised her that no one else besides Misty, Zoe and herself knew about that place, and she couldn’t think about any way Michael could have found out about that or why he would go there in first place. Maybe it was an animal – she would kill Misty if it was an alligator – but she wasn’t sure if animals could close doors yet.

She just decided to end it quickly. Madison, using her power, shot the door open and got inside like she owned the place. If she was going to die again, she would do it with her head up. But what was waiting for her inside sure surprised her much more than she thought it ever would. Cordelia, Myrtle, Coco and Mallory, all around what she supposed was the living room, with a bed on it, looking so lost and scared that Madison thought Langdon was just behind her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Oh, Madison! Thanks to Salem!” Cordelia got up and walked to her, pulling Madison into a hug before the girl could do anything about it. “You’re alive.”

“Didn’t we go through it already? I’m alive and I don’t like hugs.” Madison pushed the woman away, not because she wanted her distance, but because she wanted answers. Where was Zoe? Why were they here? What about the others? “What? Couldn’t you trust me with a simple task?”

The four other women exchanged a look, not sure what to say. Madison looked at Cordelia, who had started to cry, then she looked at Mallory, who was also crying, before looking at Coco, who was looking anywhere but her. Oh, no. It was Myrtle who answered her.

“The Langdon boy got into the Academy.”

“What do you mean? Weren’t you guys doing a spell this morning to protect the place? Zoe told me... Where is Zoe?” Madison quickly changed her mind on her questions line. If they were there, but Zoe wasn’t, it could only mean...

“It didn’t work. Any of the spells, nothing worked.” Myrtle whispered. “I believe that no spell could ever work on him. That means that your trip at miss Nicks’s house was a waste of time.”

“Where is Zoe?” Madison asked again, ignoring the looks coming from Mallory and Coco. Even Myrtle was giving her a weird look, like she wasn’t understanding why she was asking that.

Cordelia took a step closer, putting one hand on her arm. “She didn’t escape.”

Madison felt like she could scream. She wanted to scream. She wanted  to cry. But she couldn’t. Doesn’t matter how sad she was, her body just wasn’t reacting to it, she was just standing there, without moving at all. Madison wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to ask why this was happening now. Zoe said she would call her that morning, they would talk again and it would be fine. They would be fine.

“Madison?”

She blinked when Cordelia squeezed her arm a little harder. Madison finally moved, pulling her arm from her hand and taking a step closer. “You just choose favorites now? The ones that deserve to live? And all the other just ‘oh well, can’t save them all’.” Her voice was bitter, but she was surprised she wasn’t screaming at the woman. So she would save those two idiots, but leave her own Council behind?

“There was nothing we could do.” Myrtle talked, trying to calm her down before she could start one of her fights episodes. “They were in the teaching room and Michael went there first.”

“I will bring them back.” Cordelia promised, interrupting Madison before she could say anything to the older woman. “I just need to lay down, it’s going to be a trip.”

“What if you can’t?” Madison whispered while she watched Cordelia walking to the bed in the corner. Myrtle followed her close, helping her to lay down, pulling the covers aside.

“I’m the Supreme.” Was the only thing Cordelia said before shutting her eyes and started shaking.


	7. Chapter 7

Cordelia had been screaming and shaking in bed for almost thirty minutes now and Madison was losing all hope that it would work out. Deep in the back of her mind, she was still imagining Zoe walking through the door and hugging her, but Madison just knew it wouldn’t happen. Cordelia couldn’t undo what the Antichrist did, she’s just not that powerful, and Zoe was gone.

Queenie was gone too. Madison remembered the feeling that ran her body when she saw the other girl in her personal Hell behind Michael. She was so relieved to see someone she knew, someone that wasn’t a costumer or her manager, or a part of her Hell. Queenie and her never had a good relationship, mostly because of Madison and she knew that, but seeing the black girl there brought her so much relief, especially because if she was with Michael, maybe it was safe to go with him too. And now she was also gone.

Her mind was just about to run towards Zoe again, when Cordelia suddenly set on the bed in the middle of a scream. Instantly Madison knew it hadn’t worked out. She was just half listening while Cordelia talked with Myrtle, her thoughts running back to her time in the Murder House and all the things she had learned there.

It hit her hard as a train.

She was never going to see Zoe again.

“Oh, no.” She whispered, breaking Cordelia’s attention from her mentor. The Supreme looked at her, waiting for an answer. “When we were in the house... Michael didn’t just kill people.” Madison had to make a stop to think about how to say what she has saw there. “He can... I don’t know! He can just burn people’s soul, like it never existed in first place.”

Madison could only look while Cordelia got up from the bed and walked to her. Her face was pure rage, like she was so mad she couldn’t even control it, but the former actress never ever thought the woman would do what she did afterwards. Cordelia hugged her. Of course the other woman had hugged her before, like half an hour ago could be an example, but that one felt so different, like the older woman wasn’t holding back at all. Like she was protecting Madison.

The younger witch only realized she was crying when Cordelia ran her hand through her hair. Madison closed her eyes, trying to ignore the other girls in the room and just feel all the things Cordelia was trying to make her feel in that hug. She lost Zoe. She lost her. The girl was gone, her soul was burned, they would never see each other again, she would never be able to tell her all the things she didn’t. Even with her eyes closed, Madison could see the scene that was described to her during her time in the Murder House. Did Michael do the same thing with Zoe? Made her feel her own soul being erased from Earth? Did Zoe hurt during it?

“Madison.” Cordelia whispered in her ear. “I’m so sorry.”

Madison wished she had that force with her to scream at the other woman, but she just couldn’t. Even if Cordelia had promised her she could fix that and bring the girls back. She knew it wasn’t Cordelia’s fault, just like the other woman knew it wasn’t her own fault for not telling her about the soul thing first. Michael is the Antichrist, there is literally nothing in the world that he couldn’t do.

“I’m so so sorry.” Cordelia repeated, hugging her even tighter.

The former actress opened her eyes, finally managing to face the other women in the room. Coco was still looking to the ground like it was too hard to look at anywhere else. Mallory was crying while staring at Cordelia and her, almost like she could feel the pain, but was probably just sad about losing all her sisters. And Myrtle had such a pitiful look on her face that Madison almost wanted to punch it away. She didn’t need anyone’s pity.

Cordelia still hadn’t let her go, so Madison just decided to look somewhere else. She spotted the improvised bathroom, a small table with a radio on top of it, a fireplace, where she assumed Misty used to cook maybe, and a Stevie Nicks poster on top of the bed. It had no kitchen, no couch, nothing like that. It was so simple, that Madison actually admired how the other woman managed to live there for so long. But everything was so clean and tidy, something she realized was wrong. Misty was dead for two years ad she was sure Cordelia gave strict orders to Stevie to take Misty straight to her house and make no stops on the way. And Madison knew no one would have thought about cleaning just after escaping death.

It hit her as hard as the news of Zoe’s dead.

Cordelia had been taking care of the place. Madison saw a book in the table that she was sure the Swampie could never touch, and it just screamed Cordelia at her. The Supreme had gone there during those years to clean, maybe even take care of the plants and other things. To read, even. She could understand why Cordelia hugged her so tight, because she knew how Madison was feeling. When Misty died, stuck in Hell and her body just became ashes, Cordelia knew she could never bring her back. Misty was forever dead. Until Michael took her out of Hell.

Madison doubted that Michael would do the same to Zoe.

When she first met Cordelia, Madison thought she was a weak woman, bossed around by her husband and her mother, never speaking her mind, always someone's shadow. She wasn’t there to see Cordelia become the woman she was now, confident and strong, the Supreme. Madison also wasn’t there to see how Cordelia had dealt with Misty’s dead, if she had tried to bring the other woman back, if she had cried, if she had gave up one day. But now, feeling her chest so empty, Madison just knew the other woman was stronger than her, because she just couldn’t see why she would wake up the next day.

Not for the first time, Madison wished that Michael never went after her. She was better in Hell, not knowing how it was to be held by Zoe’s arms or knowing how it felt to lose her.

Cordelia finally let her go, taking just one step back and putting both of her hands on Madison’s face to make the girl look at her. “I’m sorry.”

Madison knew she was talking about leaving Zoe behind, about not being able to save her, about not being able to bring her back, about the sorrow that was running through Madison’s body, but she honestly didn’t want to talk about that. Talking about feelings wasn’t her thing, maybe it would never be, so she just stood there in silence, looking at the Supreme like she was waiting for some instructions.

But Cordelia didn’t know what else so say, so Madison simply turned around and walked away. She had no fucking clue where she was going or why she was stepping in the mud again, but Madison just had to leave that place. The looks were too heavy for her to handle anymore, so she walked. Not for long, Madison stoped when she reached  some vases full of flowers and just stared at them for what felt like hours.

The flowers were so beautiful, so colorful in the middle of the swamps. She imagined how many times Cordelia had gone there to take care of them. Every week? Every month? Every day? Did she cry while she was there? Because Madison wanted to. She wanted to curl into a ball and cry until it was gone. Cry the sadness out, you could say. And that’s what she did. Madison cried. She cried for her lost childhood, cried for her lost innocence, cried for her deaths, all of them, cried for Zoe. She cried like she never allowed herself to. Madison felt empty inside. She couldn’t feel the happiness that being with Zoe for that short time had brought her, it was like she couldn’t reach that in her chest,

Cordelia didn’t bother her when she walked outside with Myrtle, but she did throw a blanket on her shoulders. Madison didn’t even move, she just kept staring at the stupid flowers. Was one of them Fred? Why did that matter anyway? She couldn’t hear when Cordelia and Myrtle talked, she just sat there a few feet away, not moving. Madison only realized it was night when a cold wind crossed her skin and she tugged the blanket to her body like a safe boat. She was still crying, but the sobs had stoped a long time ago.

She supposed it was around eight when Mallory walked to her with a bowl of soup. The girl sit by her side and handed her the bowl, but it took Madison a few seconds to actually move, the blanket fell from her back, but she didn’t mind. She ate out of instinct, not even realizing she was doing it.

The girl managed to stay there in silence with her for maybe ten minutes, before finally talking. “Cordelia has a plan.”

“Good for her.” Madison tried to sound bitter, but she didn’t have the energy to.

“We will defeat Michael, you will see.”

“And then what?” Madison looked at her with an arched eyebrow. “We stop the world form becoming a big pile of ashes, congrats, and then what happens? Everyone else is dead.”

Mallory took a piece of grass in her fingers, twisting it around nervously. “Cordelia will figure that out.”

The older girl almost laughed at her. The guy was the Antichrist, there was literally nothing Cordelia could do to stop him or undo the things he had done already. “Well, aren’t you the next Supreme? Why don’t you figure that out?”

The girl frowned. “I don’t know if that’s true.”

“It better be.” Madison put the bowl down and pulled the blanket back to her. “She saved you after all.”

“I’m sorry for Zoe. I didn’t knew you two were that close, but she was my friend too.” Madison knew the other girl wasn’t being mean or trying to hurt her even more. In fact, Mallory looked so young and lost that Madison couldn’t bring herself to say what she was actually thinking.

“Why are you here?”

“I was worried.” Mallory shrugged.

“You can leave.”

Mallory looked at her for a few seconds, trying to decide if it was a good idea or not, but finally did what Madison had told her to. Taking the bowl with her, the younger girl walked back to the shack, closing the door in silence.

Madison eventually got tired of looking at the flowers and got up. She wanted to go away, but instead she walked inside the little house and went to find Cordelia. The Supreme was sitting in some old chair at the table, reading her book and drinking tea like nothing was wrong in the world. A quick look around the room showed Madison that they were the only ones that were still up.

“I want to go back.” Madison said when she reached the chair.

Cordelia looked at her with her big eyes and the girl just knew she had also cried for hours. “You can’t, we don’t know what happened to the house. Michael might be there still.”

Madison shook her head. “I need to see her.”

The older woman put her cup in the table and closed her book with a sigh. “Madison...”

“I owe her that.” Madison insisted. “The first time I was killed, some creepy man transformed me into a doll, and God know what he did to me.” A shiver ran her spine. To be honest, she prefered not to know. “The second time I died, I’m pretty sure Kyle didn’t bother to actually bury me or anything. I can’t just leave her body there like that.”

Cordelia kept staring at her for a while, clearly thinking if it was a good idea or not. “Where do you intend on taking her?” She whispered.

“I don’t know.” Madison admitted.

The older woman gave a heavy sigh, before getting up and running her hands over her skirt. “Ok, let’s go.”

Madison was so surprised that the woman actually agreed with her that she almost missed the hand that was being held towards her.


	8. Chapter 8

Bury Zoe was less harder than Madison first thought it would be. Maybe it was because she looked so pacific, or maybe because she was good in hidding her own feelings. Madison wasn’t sure what was the thing that made her not cry at all, but she wished she could.

The Academy looked just the same when Cordelia and her got there, like nothing had happened. The door wasn’t even unlocked – something that both of them thought it was a way of Langdon to make a last joke on them - , all the windows were closed, nothing was out of place or moved. Until they reached the teaching room and the stairs. The girls bodies were everywhere, the floor was dirty with blood, the chairs were all around the place and the bullets shells where in a big pile by the stairs.

Madison saw a nameless girl first, she was still sitting in her chair with some sharp object crossing her left eye. Then she saw Bubbles and some sort of pity ran her body – Bubbles was quite a bitch, but die like that seemed aweful. Cordelia was crying when she found Queenie, but Madison wasn’t paying attention anymore because she had spotted Zoe by the end of the table.

While Cordelia made some flowers to put in the tombstones, Madison kept thinking about how Zoe was laying in that cold and red ground, a small hole on her forehead, her eyes empty, looking nowhere. Madison wondered if her eyes would look any different if her soul wasn’t destroyed, but she would never know.

They couldn’t take all the bodies back to the swamps, but Cordelia made sure all the ones that stayed behind received the respect they deserved and didn’t stayed just there, throw around the place.

“There.” Cordelia whispered after she finished making the flower crown for Queenie.

Queenie had just got back, Madison remembered. They walked back together to Cordelia, they walked together back to the Coven, and all Madison could think is how long it would take for her to be gone again too. How many times would she die? Maybe she shoudn’t be back, after all. Hell was a nightmare, of course, but being alive in a place where everything was fated to be destroyed, a place where no one cared about her, a place where the only person who did care was not there anymore, sounded way worse.

“Tomorrow morning...” Cordelia stoped, looking at the watch on her wrist. “Well, later today we have to start putting our plan in action.” Madison was still looking at the flowers that belonged to Zoe. If she die again, Madison wished not to be brought back, she thought. “You will have to take Mallory and Coc...”

“How did you felt?” Madison interrupted the Supreme in a whisper. “You had no body to bury.”

The older woman gave a heavy sigh, looking around the swamp for a couple of minutes before answering. “Not different than you, I suppose. It was still aweful.”

“How could you let her go?”

“She is safier with Stevie.” Cordelia shruged. “She needs to heal.”

Madison scoffed, shaking her head. Cordelia felt that she wanted to say something else, but the former actress remained her opinion to herself – that had to be a first. The older woman watched how Madison looked at Zoe’s grave, she could see tears in the other girl’s eyes, but she wasn’t letting them go. Madison looked... broken. Of course she wasn’t the most joyful person before she died – any of the times – but in that moment she was looking so lost, like she had so many feelings inside her and yet couldn’t understand none of them.

“Did Zoe told you what she felt for you?” Cordelia whispered in order to try not to break the silence that was surraounding them.

The younger girl almost told Cordelia to go to Hell, but she really didn’t had the strenght to do so. “She told me she had a meeting with you and she would talk to me later.” Madison’s voice was so bitter, so sad, that Cordelia could feel her own heart breaking for her. “I suppose she won’t do that anymore.”

Cordelia approached her with a sigh, putting her hand on Madison’s shoulder. “She loved you, Madison.”

“She’s dead. It dosen’t matter.”

“Of course it does. Everyone should feel loved, and believe me, she did loved you a lot.” The Supreme put a soft kiss on Madison’s cheek, ignoring how the other girl reacted to that. “But we will bring her back.”

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, until Cordelia finally pulled the girl into a tigh hug, even if quick. They understood the feeling. The feeling of loving someone and losing them in such a tragic way, the feeling of being hopeless, feeling useful, the feeling that craw inside the heart and make everything hurts. They both knew that feeling, some more than the other, but they both could feel it.

Zoe meant so much to her, since the first time they saw each other, and somehow Madison always found a way to ruin things up. First with Kyle, then with the Seven Wonders and her undying wish to be the most powerful witch on Earth, and then by leaving Zoe behind and let her die. Madison knew she wasn’t the best person in the world, she had her problems and emotional limitations, but she promissed herself she wouldn’t let Zoe down anymore and yet she found a way to do exactly that.

“I know this is too much to ask from you.” Madison didn’t turned around to face Cordelia, but she felt the anger leave her body like she was under a spell.

Rage and anger were the only emotion she allowed herself to feel for a long time and that was her way to deal with things most of the time. She thought how Zoe brought the best out of her – love. How the girl made her want to feel more than just be mad about everything, how she encouraged her, even if silently, to connect herself with her feeling and allow herself to feel them. To live them. And that was even before the Seven Wonders’s desaster. She wondered if things could have worked different for them, but nothing could have changed what happened and she was not letting her mind go that way.

“From you, from Mallory, from Coco, from Myrtle. From anyone, really.” Cordelia stoped by her side, hands crossed in front of her body, and Madison didn’t needed to look at her to know she had tears in her eyes. “I know it’s not fair that I had to envolve any of you, girls, in this mess.”

Madison suddenly remembered Michael’s image in her Hell, how she thought he was something else, how she thought he might be dangerous, but still followed him to get out of there. She almost rolled her eyes to herself, because she should have know that anyone willing to drag her out of there was not a good person.

“Yes, well, you also asked us to kill your mother.” Madison shrugged, not very impressed by the memory of that. She really didn’t liked Fiona and scare the shit out of her was kinda of fun, she had to admit that.

Cordelia looked to the ground, more ashamed of the fact that she wasn’t ashamed for that plan. “What I meant is that... Madison, I know I should be able to solve this on my own and that put all of you in risk is a, with the pardon of the word, very fucked up thing to do.” The younger girl almost laughed at that. “And I’m sorry to drag you to this, that you will have to face a nuclear explosion, that you will have to face the spawn of the Devil again.” Cordelia turned so she was standing in front of Madison, even if the girl was still looking at the graves before them. “And I’m sorry I wasn’t able to save Zoe.”

Madison was looking over her shoulder, facing the odd and simple grave that hold Zoe’s name to it. It was nothing more than a piece of wood, but it wasn’t just that. She could see flowers around the area, carefully putten down so there would be a lot of color, a nice bouquet placed perfectly between both graves, the area completly clean from animals and dirt. Madison knew Cordelia cared about every single one of them and she knew she cared about Zoe – and Queenie - ,and see the care she was taking with the place their bodies were buried made her feel guilty.

“I’m sorry I didn’t cared when Misty died.” Madison whispered quickly, feeling her throat closing more and more by every word she draw out. Her eyes never moved away from Zoe's name. “I’m sorry that I took it for granted, like it was nothing, and acted like I was annoyed that it would slow down the stupid thing we were doing.” The younger blonde took a deep and shake breath. “I’m sorry I killed her.” She finally looked at Cordelia, who had tears rolling down her face. “I’m sorry because... because you loved her. But I’m ever sorrier because I wasn’t sorry about that until I felt the same.”

Cordelia had her in her arms before Madison could understand what was happening. And in there, feeling Cordelia strongly hugging her, Madison felt something she never did before. She felt like she had a family, and even if she had ruined it, it was still a goddamn good feeling.

“It’s okay, Madison.” Cordelia whispered in her ear, stroking her hair with instable hands.

“No, it’s not.” Madison didn’t cared anymore when she moved her arms to rest around Cordelia’s waist like she was a lifeline. “Zoe is gone and I didn’t even told her I loved her.”

She felt Cordelia’s arms squeeze her even tigher and, when her face touched the woman’s neck, she realized she was also crying. “We will bring her back, we will stop Michael and we will fix things.”

“But what if we fix that and she dosen’t love me anymore? I let her die.”

“No, you didn’t.” Cordelia held Madison’s face on her hands. “It’s not your fault, it could never be your fault. If you had know... If you knew it was going to happen, you wouldn’t had allowed that happen to her. It’s not your fault.”

“Why do I feel like it is?” A single tear rolled down Madison’s eye and that broke the Supreme’s heart more than anything.

“Because is a normal thing to feel.” Cordelia sighed. “I have a plan and tomorrow is a important day, you have to rest. I will go inside and make sure Mallory is not trying anything stupid herself, are you going to be ok?”

If she will be ok? Without Zoe? Without no one there with her? “Whatever.” Madison whispered, turning around to look at Zoe’s grave again. She was so young, Madison and her didn’t even got a chance together before that happened, how fair could that be? If Michael ever crossed her way again, Madison would make him pay for what he did with Zoe.


	9. Chapter 9

When Madison saw the fucking bus with Dinah’s face on it, and she lost her shit. Madison almost flipped the bus, but the last time she did it not ended well for her, so she just ran back to the swamps, thinking about ways to get her revenge on the way. But of course Cordelia wouldn’t let her do it, why would the woman allow the small pleasure of killing the traitor? Even Myrtle had agreeded with her, but she had to ‘wait’. Wait for what exactly Cordelia didn’t said, but she was supposed to sit there in that shitty cabin while Dinah Stevens was walking around living her best life. It was her fault Zoe was dead, she was the one who let Michael in, she deserved to die.

And that’s how Madison spent her days in the swamps, planning, dreaming, ways to kill Dinah, Langdon and Mead, to make them pay for all that crap they have done. The high spot was when Cordelia received a call from Stevie, saying that she had bought two tickets for one of the Outposts, so Misty and her would be safe during the Apocalypse. That helped Madison, because from that day on all Cordelia could talk was Misty – how she missed her – and the former actress could relate to that. She would also like to spent the whole days talking about Zoe, if the girl wasn’t dead and it didn’t hurt that bad. Besides, Misty was not the smartest person, she could be quite annoying and Madison was not searching her to do frienship bracelets, but she didn’t deserved to die again. She was a better person than Madison and everyone knew it.

“What if he goes there?” Cordelia asked one day, out of the blue, while Myrtle was watering the plants and Madison was smoking her cigarette. The Supreme was in panic suddenly. “He knows who she is!”

“I doubt, little bird.” Myrtle answered, calm as always. Madison was sure she only did that to annoy her. “Ms. Mead, ou whatever is that name of that abomination, will be in the Outpost 3, and Michael is not going anywhere without her, I’m sure.”

“So you’re saying that he will go there first?”

“I would bet with you, but all I have is my Balenciaga, and I’m not up to give it away.” The old woman kep watering the fucking plants like she was having just another normal day in her life. “Even if he don’t go there first, I doubt miss Day will be that unfortnable.”

“He knows Stevie is a witch and if he saw her name...”

“No one knows miss Nicks is a witch, besides us. Have you forget that, my dear?” Madison was about to snap the water from her hand and make her drink it. “The White Witch does not go around annoucing she is, you know, The White Witch. And people who heard that always think is a joke.”

“But she was there, the day Misty was back, I called her and he saw her too.” Cordelia was so pale that Madison thought she could immitate a paper.

“I have to say, one more time, that his twisted version of a mother is in Outpost 3.” Myrtle finally looked around to face Cordelia. “And if, for a reason, he goes to their Outpost first, there’s nothing we can do.”

Cordelia was about to say something, but Madison interrupted her. “She will be dead either way, Supreme.” She mocked. “If they don’t go to one of those shit places, they will die with radiation. If they go and Michael finds them, they will die in his hands. There’s no other option.”

“Well, we can think in the positive option.” Myrtle put the pot down. “They will be safe, because Michael is not going to find them.”

Cordelia stood in silence for a long time, enough for Madison’s thoughts to travel again. She wondered who was the idiot that decided Mallory was going to be the next Supreme. Madison was not going to hit the point that she could be the next Supreme anymore, but she was capable of performing six of the Seven Wonders, and maybe she didn’t knew Mallory that well – or at all – but she was seriously worried that the girl was the only way to save the world. Sounded stupid to put all hopes in one plan, especially if that plan envolved a girl who had no fucking clue what she was doing, or who she was to start with.

But she supposed that Cordelia was too short in her council to have people telling her how stupid that seemed. There was only Myrtle around now and she was okay with all of that insane things. Zoe would have told her how crazy that is.

God, Madison hated to think about Zoe. She hated to think about her before she died, when she died and now that she was alive again. The power that simples memories had on her was unbelievable and she fucking hated it, but at the same time those were the only things that made her go on. Not that Madison was going to make that announced, but she was only going on with on of that plan because she wanted Zoe to have another chance. It really didn’t mattered if Madison would go back to Hell, if she would end up dead again or if Mallory would screw things up and go back in time so much that Madison would go back to be a fetus, as long as Zoe had the chance she deserved to live her life and not get killed trying to protect the members of her Coven.

Madison owed her that. At least, she felt like she did.

That’s why she got inside that hole in the middle of the swamps, and that’s why she faced the nuclear explosion and the radiation and everything that came with it – and it was a lot. The travel to the Outpost 3 was probably one of the most weird things Madison ever did. They saw dead bodies, animals and, there was really nothing around other than destruction and Madison was happy when Cordelia said they could use transmutation to get there faster and safier. Finding Mallory and Coco was another crappy thing to do, because they were not expecting to find everyone dead, especially not with their pukes by the floor, and Dinah was another surprise. Madison wasn’t sure why they needed to bring her back, she was fine with the woman being dead.

Madison felt so satisfied seeing Dinah Stevens getting slashed by Marie and it felt even better when she saw the weird robot explode right in front of Michael’s eyes. She acted over her instincts when she grabbed the thing’s arm and pointed at Michael, Madison only wanted him to die and the rage running throught her body was burning fire on the way, so she fired the gun and watched as the Antichrist falled to the ground. It felt good, but it was also scary.

And dying again also sucked.

During all her time in Hell - and it was a lot of time - Madison was very aware of where she was, she knew she was in Hell and she knew that nothing of that was real, that it was just a way to make her worst nightmare come true so she could pay for her sins, or some shit like that. Madison wasn't catholic, so she prefered to imagine Hell as a big joke on people instead of a way to be punished for not being a good person.

So Madison knew she was in Hell when Fiona killed her and she knew she was back in that place when Kyle killed her a few months later.

Michael had said to her that people don't usually know where they are when they get in their personal Hell, and at the time Madison had moked him saying that she was cursed to always know more than normal people. It was supposed to be a joke, but now Madison was starting to think it was just another way to punish her.

If there is a God, he liked to make her life - and death - miserable.

Madison didn't quite remembered the feeling of having her head exploded out of her body, but she remembered that's how she died. It was the first thing that she realized was different from the other times. When Fiona killed her, she spent all time in Hell feeling the cut like it was still there, even if every time she glared at the mirror her neck was just fine. Even when she got back to life, the extrange feeling of having a blade cutting your skin still rushed her body once in a while. It was the same with Kyle, because she could always feel her lungs burning and the constant despair for air, that's why she hated the Warlock's Academy and the Murder House so much, because there wasn't fresh air for her.

But her head didn't hurt the way she thought it would when she opened her eyes in her personal Hell, standing behind a counter, uniform on, the stupid tag name on her chest, the enormous line of costumers in front of her and the distinct noise of eletricity getting closer and closer.

The joy of it all.

Madison only sighed, there was really nothing else she could do, she would have to stand there and hear all of their complains and fold towels at some point, and that would be it. It was always it.

“Excuse me, lady.” If Madison had to chose someone for her to hate the most, it would be the woman with the fucking pan. “Why did you let her die?”

That was new. Not welcome at all.

“Take care of your fucking business.” It was pointless to discuss with those people, she knew that, but Madison only had her words to fight with since she couldn’t use her magic and set everyone on fire – that would have been fun to watch.

The woman threw the pan top of the counter, clearly getting angrier by every second and the blonde girl knew what was going next. “Manager!”

How she expected the man came, shocked her and told her to go fold towels. On her way to get there, Madison started to wonder with herself how things had worked out for the rest of them. Time works different in Hell, so she wasn’t sure if the fight was over or if they were still running to the stairs. She wished Mallory could make it, save the world or whatever, and kill Michael on her behalf. Shoot him dozens of times were not as satisfying as Madison wished it was, especially because he did got up and blew her head away.

Madison would never understand how the towels could always be everywhere, but she was done trying to understand Hell and Devil’s mind. At least the woman with the pan wasn’t around, or join those two things would be actually Hell. But of course that things weren’t that simple anymore. The second time she went to Hell, people don’t knowing who she was was added to it and the thirth time also wasn’t the same, because as soon as she spoted the towels, she also saw something else.

Blood, a lot of it, bullets shells all over the floor, and a dead body between the towels in the ground, pale, looking at the ceiling with empty eyes and a hole in her forehead.

Zoe.


	10. Chapter 10

Madison days in Hell went basicaly like that. People in line would complain about their products, ask about Zoe, then her manager would show up, shock her and send her to fold towels, where she would find Zoe’s dead body. And even if Madison knew she was in Hell, she still couldn’t control her reactions, so she would have to live it over and over again, having her body moving around without her permission to walk back to Zoe. It was insane how that happened. Over and over again, Madison would find herself behind the counter, a huge line of clients in front of her, one of them would complain, se would walk to Zoe, blink and be back to the counter like she never got out of there in the first place. Not different from the other times, but still a weird sensation to get used to.

That didn’t stoped Madison’s mind to run everywhere, though. What the fuck was going on in the world? Where the fuck was Cordelia, Michael and everyone else? What happened after she died? And how long was she able to look at Zoe’s dead body before going insane?

To be honest, they never reached the part of the conversation on what to do if the plan worked - at least, not when Madison was around – so the girl really had no clue what to expect. Maybe that was it, she wasted all of her new chances in life and her destiny was to stay eternity in Hell once for all. Madison wasn’t trully sad about it, she didn’t even knew if she wanted to be brought back again. She was too damaged, too broken, too tired to start all over again. And maybe that didn’t even worth it. She was sure there was many others around that could use their second chance in life better than her, so Madison had finally come to terms with her fate.

That, of course, only meant that Madison learned to accept it, but not that she liked it or that didn’t affect her. It did, every time it would start over it would destroy her just a little bit more, and then more, and then more, and then more.

Stupid costumer, abusive manager, Zoe, repeat.

It’s not needed to say that Zoe was the worst part, but seeing that over and over again didn’t took the shock and the pain away from Madison. She still screamed everytime, she still falled to her knees and cried, she still would try to touch Zoe’s cold skin – just to find herself back to the counter.

Even if Madison knew she was in Hell, she had no clue how long she was there for, so she did got surprised when Nan showed up, because she never came the other times Madison got herself stuck there. For her to be there... it had to be a while.

“Hi.” Madison had forgotten about her smile of ‘i know everything’ that annoyed her no end.

But she was happy to see her. She was happy to see anyone, really, that wasn’t a part of her own Hell, even if she was sure Nan was only there to make things worst for her. “The nun outfit does not look that nice on you.”

The girl actually laughed and Madison almost smiled at that – she missed the simples days where there was only four of them in the house, no ‘i’m the next supreme’ talks or the Antichrist. “Mallory was right, you had to stay here a little longer.”

Madison arched her eyebrown to that. “What?”

“Yes, she said that when she asked me to pick up Misty.” Nan laugh was not a friendly one this time, making the blonde shiver head to toe. “Papa asked if she wanted to take you too, but she said you needed to spent a little more time in here.”

So yes, Madison knew she wasn’t the best person in the world, not the besto ne to Mallory in general, but that sounded harsh. She had come to get Misty – of course she would – but she simply decided to leave Madison behind just because. Madison felt that thing, that feeling crawling it’s way inside her heart and she almost wished to keep walking to find Zoe’s body and restart, because that seemed to hurt less. They left her behind. They succeded, it had clearly worked if they were going back in Hell to bring people back, and they just left her there.

“So what are you doing here?” Madison really tried to hide the pain from her voice, but she could see in Nan’s happy eyes that she didn’t do it very well.

“Taking you back, bitch.”

The taller girl snorted at that, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms. “Oh, now they want me?”

“Mallory is waiting for you and Papa is waiting for me, so let’s go, start walking.” Nan had already turned around and started to walk away like it was just a normal store she was in, but Madison didn’t followed her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to. Scratch that, Madison knew she didn’t wanted to go back, she was fine there – not that fine, because, you know, it’s still Hell. “I’m not inviting you over, you have to come.”

“What is out there for me?” Madison sighed, even if she did start to walk after Nan.

“I don’t know either, I like here.” Nan was walking in the hallways filled with cheap products and angry costumers, but none of them were making atempts to stop the girls or say anything towards them. “You would like Papa. He’s my boo.”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“Exactly what you’re thinking.” Nan giggled. “Close your eyes or be blind forever.”

“What?” Madison looked foward, but all she could see were the surroundings of the store.

Just when she was about to question if Nan was just another part of her Hell, or just insane, there was a bright flash light coming from the front door of the store – that Madison had never actually saw before – and she quickly close her eyes and stoped walking, scared of what was going to happen next. It wasn’t like that when Michael took her out, no, he just grabbed her hand and suddenly they were not there anymore, in fact they were in front of a McDonald, something that Madison never really understood. Nan wasn’t having her shit anymore, so she grabbed Madison’s wrist and pulled her to what she assumed was the light.

“Misty didn’t struggled that much.” Madison heard she whispering under her breath.

Yes, well, Misty had reasons to go back. She actually liked to be alive and she had Cordelia, not to mention that she didn’t had to die again with the Apocalypse because she was safe in one of the Outposts. Madison suddenly opened her eyes when a thought ran to her mind, but she didn’t saw the light like she was expecting, or the big infinity white or anything like it. She just saw Miss Robichaux’s Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies right in front of her.

She quickly turned around to say something to Nan – even if she wasn’t sure if she was going to thank her or tell her to fuck off – but the girl was nowhere to be seen. Madison blinked a couple of times, looking around. There was no one in the street, no one walking around, like the street was empty, just like the houses nearby. It took her a moment to remember Cordelia had bought the house next door, where Nan’s old crush used to live, so they could accept more girls in.

“Well, that answers my question.” Madison sighed. “I still remember everything.”

“Is either a curse or a blessing.” She turned around so fast that she almost tripped in her heels. That was also when she realized she was wearing the same clothes she was when she died in Michael’s hand. Mallory was standing in the front door, using her ridiculous dress and a stupid smile that Madison wished she could punch away.

She had no reasons to hate Mallory. The girl did saved the world or whatever, but, in the other hand, she decided who she was going to take out of Hell or not. “Are we going to be philosofers now? Are you Dumbledore?”

Mallory only smiled back, not even affected by her harsh words. “How are you feeling?”

Dead. Lifeless. Like a dead body. “Just peach.” Madison rolled her eyes, walking so she was also standing in the front door. “Are we going in or not? I have to grab my cigarettes.” That she also knew weren’t in there anymore, but she would at least see if she could find any.

“Madison, besides you, me and Misty, no one else remembers.” Mallory’s voice was just a whisper and she was looking over her shoulder, afraid to be heard by anyone. “I wasn’t sure you were going to remember too.”

“I’m cursed.” Madison gave her a small sarcastic grin. “Don’t worry, Junior, I’m not going to tell anyone.” It would do no good, for sure.

“Ok.” Mallory’s smile was back to her face. “Let’s go, I’m sure there is a lot you want to catch up into.” The younger girl made a dance move to go inside, something that was so Misty that Madison had to roll her eyes. “Queenie is going to be back from California in a week or two. Since she never got stuck... you know where, she decided to extend her trip for another month.”

Even if Madison did cared about Queenie more now than she ever did, she still wasn’t interested in how amazing her trip to whatever was the place was being, because during the time she was there enjoying her life, Madison was stuck in Hell and she was a little bitter about that, if she was going to be honest with herself. She didn’t wanted to leave that place, but now that she had more time to think about that it made her sad.

As soon as she walked in, Madison saw a group of teenagers talking in the living room, waving their hands and saying spells to lift the couch where one of them had fallen asleep. They were giggling, sharing smiles and just being happy, and that almost made Madison puke. There was the bitter feeling again. She decided to ignore them and keep following Mallory to whatever she was going.

“Where are you taking me?”

“It’s a surprise.” Mallory shot her a smile from over her shoulder and Madison just rolled her eyes again.

Mallory had probably forgot that Madison did lived in the house long before she – or any of those girls, including Queenie, Nan and Zoe – had got into the picture, so she could reconize the way to Cordelia’s office even if Nan’s promisse of her going blind had been real. Madison let go a heavy sigh, because of course Mallory wouldn’t let her go to her room first or go steal a cigarette from someone.

They had just walked pass a room with some kids doing painting, when Madison heard a voice that made her stop on her tracks. Mallory didn’t realized what just happened and keep walking to the stairs, chating about some random shit that no one would be interested at, but Madison had turned around to go back to the door where she heard the voice coming from. The white door was closed, probably so the people inside the place would have some privacy, and Madison hesitate for a whole minute, just looking at it and listening to the beautiful voice that sang to her heart.

“So, in the first years of 1400, a witch, that you might know as Joana D’Arc, faced the biggest battle of her life.” There was a pause, that Madison assumed was because someone had raised their hands to ask something. “Yes, Maggie?”

“Joana D’Arc? Like... the Joana D’Arc?”

These people never read a book in Cordelia’s library? She had at least twelve books talking about Joana D’Arc and her magic. “Yes, Maggie, the Joana D’Arc.” Madison could hear a smile behind her words and that made her knees go weak.

“Madison?” Mallory had finally realized she was walking by her self, suddenly standing by the other blonde girl’s side. “What’s going on?”

“Of course you didn’t learned that in school.” Both girl could hear soft laughs coming from the room and Mallory’s eyes widen when she realized what was Madison’s deal. “But don’t worry, that’s why you have this class.” Madison almost wanted to scream that it was the most boring and unecessary class ever, but she had to remind herself that Cordelia was trying with her. Madison was her first student and she was still learning how to deal with that – the actress was also not making things too easy for her, for sure. “How I was saying, these extraordinary witch faced a hard battle. She had the power of Sight, can anyone tell me what that means?”

“She could see the future.” Madison whispered at the same time one of the girls inside the class answered the same. Mallory only looked at her, a saddness attached to her expression, and placed a hand on Madison’s arm.

“Madison, we have to go talk with Cordelia.”

“Let her.” Madison didn’t turned around to face Misty, but she was happy to hear her voice, heavy with accent as it was. She had come to terms with her sins towards the woman, she had learned that Misty didn’t deserved to die and had finally accepted that she was a better person than Madison would ever be. So yes, she was happy that she was alive again. “She needs it.”

Madison didn’t question why, neither did Mallory, but deep inside her the former actress knew why. She needed a reason to want to stay alive. Without thinking anymore, Madison grabbed the maçaneta and turned it, opening the door slowly. The voices inside the room had stoped and she felt dozens of pairs of eyes staring at her when she finally made her presence clear for everyone in there, but her own eyes could focus only in someone.

Zoe looked gorgeous, like always. She was using that black jeans that Madison liked so much, black boots and black shirt. Her hair was perfect around her surprised face and the blonde watched how she quickly placed one hand in the closest chair to keep her balance when she took a step back. There was no bullet in her forehead, or dry blood in her hair and clothes, her heart and lungs were working just fine. She was alive.

“Madison?”

That was enough to make all the other girls act. They started to approach they closest colleague and whisper, looking at Madison in awe, not even caring if the girl could hear them. Their voices, low and quick, reminded her too much of her costumers in Hell and that made her shiver.

“Can you...” Madison had to clear her throat to make the words go out. “Can you come out here for a minute?” Zoe was still looking at her like a second head had just popped up. “Please?” It was a late reaction and her voice was not louder than a whisper, but that made Zoe start to move.

She shook her head and took a deep breath. “Uh... Girls, you can all read the Joana D’Arc chapter in your books while I’m gone. I want some interesting questions when I come back.” Zoe said while walking towards Madison, not taking her eyes away from the smaller girl.

Madison quickly moved so Zoe could walk outside the door and she realized Mallory was not with her anymore. She could still see Misty from a distance, inside the kitchen eating a bagel, but she wasn’t paying attention on them. Madison took a deep and unstable breath while Zoe closed the door behind her, not feeling ready to face what was going on next.

“What the hell, Madison?” Was the first thing Zoe shouted at her. “How are you here?!”

Madison shrugged, not sure what to answer, since Mallory and her didn’t had the time to talk about it. “The same way Swampie is in the kitchen right now, I suppose.”

Zoe shook her head, still shocked to see the girl in front of her again. “I can’t believe it.”

The blonde wanted to jump on her. Hug, kiss, grab, hold her as close as possible, but Mallory said no one else remembered. Zoe didn’t remember the talks they had, the kisses, the ‘let’s share our feelings’ moment, nothing. As long as Zoe knew, Madison hated her, always had and always would, because of Kyle or any other silly thing, and that terrified Madison more than anything. Was that the same Zoe that told her she had feelings for her? Was that the same Zoe that called her when she was at Stevie's house? Was that the same Zoe who held her close at night before Madison had to leave to find Misty? Did that Zoe had feelings for her too or Mallory fucked up time and that somehow made the girl don’t feel a thing for her?

“Can I...” Madison stoped herself. Zoe wouldn’t understand how Madison knew she still didn’t had a room mate, or how the girl could know her bed was still in the room. “I’m tired.” She looked to her feet, not sure what else she could do. Madison was afraid to scare Zoe, to send her away and ruin any chances they could have – again. She could understand why that type of spell wasn’t in any book: know the future, or things that happened before, could for certain fuck someones head.

Zoe, surprised as she was with the whole talk, only sighed. “Does Cordelia know you’re back?” Madison only shook her head. “Ok, well, I will take you to her and then... you can sleep in my room, I have an extra bed.”

The smaller girl wanted to make a coment about it, say something, but she decided not to. “I don’t want to go there, I just... I’m really tired.” Madison wasn’t really tired, not in the fisical aspect, no, her body was just fine. It was her mind that was running with zero control around memories and facts and the present, and that was driving her insane.

“Madison.” Zoe took a step closer, but they were still not touching. “Cordelia have to know you’re here.”

Madison had realized that before, but she would do anything Zoe asked her to. She realized that when she came with her plan of breaking in a morgue to bring Kyle back just because she thought that was what Zoe wanted, and she realized that everyday after that. “Ok, fine, yeah.”


	11. Chapter 11

Madison could remember everytime she died and got back to life, even if it was a little blured in her memory, she could still see it when she closed her eyes. She could also remember all the times her mother treated her like a walking dollar bill, all the times a director tried to make her take her clothes off for a test, all the times her manager at the retail would get just too close to her and touch his dick on her back, all the times one of her co-workers attacked her with words to make her feel like a slut. She could remember every time she skinned her knee and that one time she broke her arm – how mad her mother was because she lost a job because of that. Madison could remember every bad thing that ever happened in her life, but remembering the good was always a trouble for her.

And even if she did remembered Misty bringing her back and Michael walking with her out of Hell, she couldn’t remember the feeling of being pulled out of Hell for Nan – literally. She could imagine it was nothing like the other times since she couldn’t place it, but she also thought it wasn’t as calm as walk inside the Academy with Zoe again. The girl respected her rythm, slow and firm, as she almost escorted her to Cordelia’s office. They passed a few students on their way that only waved at Zoe, not sure what to do with Madison’s presence by her side, but none of them tried to iniciate a talk, something both of them were glad.

Zoe knocked in the door with her knuckles, throwing a small smile at Madison while they waited for the Supreme to answer. Madison felt her heart skip a beat.

“Come in.” They could both hear some papers being pushed aside when Zoe opened the door and walked inside.

“Hi.”

“Oh, hello, Zoe, sweetie.” Cordelia had a big smile on her face when she removed her glasses to look at her council member, but her face quickly drop when she noticed someone behind her. "Madison." Cordelia's voice was breathless, her eyes wide open and one hand in her chest like she was trying to hold her heart in place.

Madison was happy to be back, she couldn't deny it anymore, even if she had to deal with Mallory and everyone else one more time. At least, that wasn't Hell. And this time, when Cordelia crossed the space between them in four large steps and put her arms around Madison, the girl didn't pushed her away. She didn't even complained about it, because the feeling that Cordelia's hug washed over her was fresh and loving, and for the first time since her first death, Madison felt safe.

Silly thing to feel, she assumed. Cordelia haven't - couldn't - do nothing to save her in any of her three deaths. She wasn't there when Fiona cut her throat open, and Zoe was the one who did everything she could to find Madison and bring her back. Cordelia also wasn't there when Kyle put his nasty hands around her neck and squeezed it until she was back to Hell, and that time no one did anything to bring her back. Well, Zoe told her they tried, but no one was able to do that. No, they left the job in the hands of the Antichrist, a wise decision, of course. And the Supreme also wasn't there when Michael blew her head away, because she was busy trying to save Mallory - the world, but whatever.

But, even if Madison had her reasons to push Cordelia away and tell her to fuck off, she didn't. Not because her time in Hell made her open her eyes or some shit like that. No, she didn't because she remember how bad it felt to have no one to do that, how bad it felt to only have costumers, a manager and Zoe’s dead body around, so Madison couldn’t care less if Cordelia was going to act all crazy on her like that. Cordelia wasn’t her first option, she would much rather have the girl behind her in her arms, but it still felt amazing.

“How are you here?” Cordelia whispered in her ear and Madison was sent back to their time in Misty’s shack with Myrtle, the last time she allowed the Supreme to be that close to her – not that they had any more time to do so because they died shortly after, but still.

“Fuck me if I know.” Madison finally pulled away, a sad smile dancing in her lips. “Nan found me and... I’m here.” She shrugged, because she still hadn’t spot Mallory again to ask what their story would be, so she was going with the partial truth.

Cordelia stroked her cheek with her hand, eyes filled with tears that Madison was scared were going to fall soon. “She did that again, then.”

Madison felt the bad feeling burning in her chest again. Nan could have taken her out sooner if Mallory told her to, but no, the girl decided to keep her there for a little longer. Misty was the luckiest bitch around, for sure. “Yes, well, I would have liked if she did it a little earlier.” Madison rolled her eyes, trying to look like she didn’t cared about that. “Anyway, now that we already had this reunion, can I go to my room? If I have one.” She added quickly when she realized her slip.

How was she supposed to keep the Apocalypse a secret? It was a big thing, she couldn’t just walk around and pretend that never happened. And Cordelia was the Supreme, wasn’t she supposed to know things? That was a big shit thing to know.

“Oh.” Cordelia looked taken back with her request, but Zoe was fast to solve the problem.

“She can stay in my room.” Zoe was behind Madison and out of her sight, but she could still feel the shrugged that came after that. “I have a extra bed.” She reminded Cordelia.

The Supreme smiled, satisfied with it. “If it’s ok with you, Madison.”

Madison didn’t remember Cordelia asking her if Zoe could move to her room when the girl first arrived at the Academy, but that was a long time ago and that didn’t mattered anymore. “Sure.”

Cordelia clearly wanted to pull her to another hug, but she just squeezed her hand instead. “Ok, great. We will wait you for dinner.”

The walk back to their room – their room – was not silent that time. They passed by a few kids, but they were too busy running after a frog to notice them.

“Misty have a thing for frogs now.” Zoe laughed softy, looking at Madison for a second. “One day after she was back, she went to the swamps and brought four or five frogs with her. Turns out, frogs reproduce very fast.”

Madison wanted to say something to that, but all she could do was shake her head. She knew about Misty's Hell, the woman had told her about it, and she felt something inside her twist with that information. So Misty was outside, feeling bad for killing a frog during her time in Hell and decided she was going to be the Queen of the frogs or something like that? Madison felt bad for her.

“The kids like them.” Zoe kept talking, filling the silence with her words. “They named them and Misty is teaching them how to take care of the frogs. Cordelia had to build a fake lake in the yard.”

“Why was one of them inside?” Madison didn’t cared, as long as the animal stayed away from her. She hated most animals.

Zoe shrugged, turning the corner to their room. “They’re frogs, you can’t expect them to do what you tell them to.”

Madison almost wished she could read minds, because she was sure Zoe had added ‘like you’ in her head. She would find it hilarious, and even if Madison wasn’t sure if that actually happened, she still smiled at the thought. Her first smile after Hell nº 3. They finally reached the door and Zoe opened with another sigh, quickly walking inside so Madison could do the same. The room was not like Madison expected it to be, it wasn’t grey like it was before the Apocalypse and the girl started to panic. The walls weren’t the same, weren’t they supposed to be the same? Why they were still white?

What the fuck Mallory did?

“Well, there is the bed.” Zoe pointed to the left side of the room, where a single bed was against the wall. At least, that was the same. “I, uh...” She scratched the back of her neck, nervously looking around. “We don’t have your clothes anymore. Do you... I mean, I can borrow you something to sleep in.”

“I think the best word would be ‘give’.” Madison joked. “I can’t really explain how I’m legally dead, but still alive to the bank.” She had a lot of money in her bank account, but she wouldn’t be able to use after being declared dead after Kyle killed her – she tried to use it when Behold and her went to the Murder House, but the man had to buy all of her stuff.

Zoe didn’t laugh, but Madison wasn’t expecting she would. The girl always disliked her dark humor, especially when she joked about death. Instead, the taller girl walked to the wardrobe in the corner, opened and started to go throught her clothes. Madison watched from her place by the door, not moving at all.

“I don’t have nothing new, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have time to go to the GAP anymore?” Madison smirked, amused by the other girl rolling her eyes.

Zoe turned around, holding a PJ in her hand. “I actually kept your clothes in secret. There was enough things to live for a decade without shopping.”

“Fun.” The blonde reached her hand to grab the offered clothes and smiled. “Turtles?”

“Either that or the pink one.” Zoe tolled her eyes. “I have to go back, the girls must be waiting for me.”

“You know they didn’t did what you told them to, right?”

“They wouldn’t be teens if they did.” Zoe smiled, already walking to the door to exit.

Zoe still looked the same as she did when Kyle killed Madison, and so did the actress, but she realized the biggest changes were inside. Zoe was tecnically older than her, if she thought about it. Madison spent a long time in Hell and that would be enough to make Zoe pass her in age, since she couldn’t get older in Hell, but that wasn’t it yet. No, the biggest change was even deeper.

“Madison.” The brunette called, almost out of the room, a hand in the door to hold it open. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Madison was able to hold her smile until Zoe was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

Madison was expecting things to be hard for her, but she could never imagine how hard it was going to be. Adaptating after leaving Hell was something she had to deal with before, but the weight of a secret that big was something new and she quickly learned it was too much for her. The nightmares weren’t a surprise, she knew it would happen, but nothing could prepare her for how real and terrifing they were. She woke up almost every night with her heart racing and sweat all over her body, the feeling of being scared still stuck in her mind and a silent scream in her throat. She would gasp for air, trying not to wake Zoe, to calm down, but she never went back to sleep. Madison was too scared to do it.

The panic attacks were a new thing also. The first one happened the first time she walked inside the room where Michael had killed everyone. She couldn’t breath, think, move or get rid of the heavy weight on her chest. Misty was the one who found her there, shivering and crying in the corner of the room, hands on her ears and sobs shaking her body. Madison was glad Misty was the one finding her there, because she wouldn’t be able to trust in any of the new girls. After that they happened in a regular basis, but no one noticed that.

She found herself spending more time with Misty after that. Madison was still mad at Mallory and the girl have her own classes to attend too, so Madison spent a lot of time with Misty in the yard when the woman was watering the flowers or looking at the lake full with frogs.

“I didn’t knew ya liked the plants.” Misty said one day.

Madison wanted to tell her to shut up and keep doing her work, she wished she was still capable of doing that, but she was too tired to start a fight, especially with the only person who’s not stuck inside the Academy all day and can talk to her to stop her mind to go to crazy places sometimes. “I don’t.” She had a cigarette in the corner of her mouth, but she had improved the art of talking with the cigarette there over the years. “And this place smells like shit.”

Misty giggled. “Well, that’s because it is shit.” She pointed at the large buckets with fertilizer. “Why aren’tcha with Zoe?”

“She has classes to give.” Madison shrugged, looking at the greenhouse’s wall.

“How are the things between ya?” Misty had got into her knees to dig in the mud with her bare hands and Madison made a face to the action. Gross.

The younger blonde finished her cigarette before talking, feeling the old and fake calm wash over her with the toxine in her lungs. “We share a room.”

Misty threw her a sad smile over her shoulder. “Did ya talked to her?”

“And say what? Hey, Zoe, I know you don’t remember it, but we were really close to fuck. Wanna do it now?” Madison put as much sarcasm as she could in her words, already pulling another cigarette from the pack.

Misty snorted, grabbing a vase that was by her foot to take the flower out and plant in the hole she had just digged. “Ya could ask her out.”

Madison rolled her eyes again. “Is that what you did with Cordelia? Walked to her and asked her out?”

Misty blushed, but she quickly moved so her hair was hidding her face. “Nah.”

“Of course.”

“She asked me.” Misty started to put the land back in place. “But that’s not important.”

Madison stayed quiet for a time after that. She only watched when Misty repeated the process another ten times, before getting up, dirt in her arms and her dress. Madison still remembered the talk she had with Cordelia at the swamps, how she appologized for killing Misty and all, but the Supreme didn’t remembered that, and Misty wasn’t there to listen to it either. Even if Madison wanted them to know, she still wasn’t brave enough to repeat the words.

Mallory, Misty and her had plenty of meetings to discuss wheter to talk with Cordelia about the Apocalypse or not, but they never got the chance to do it the right way. Madison had a terrible nightmare one night, Michael was back and none of them were ready to fight him because they never talked about it, and he just walked inside the Academy and killed them all. That made her wake up screaming in panic, already in the middle of a panic attack.

Zoe also woke up, scared with the scream that she heard, when she saw Madison sitting in her bed, a hand in her chest and the other cluched around the sheet like it was holding her in place. Zoe was up to her feet and running towards Madison before any of them could realize she was moving, but the former actress were also up before she could reach her. Madison threw the blankets away, jumped out of bed and ran like Michael was just behind her. Zoe stood in the dark for a couple of seconds, trying to understand what the fuck was going on, until she finally ran after the girl.

Madison seemed lost in the hallway, like she wasn’t sure where she was going, bumping in the wall like it was the only thing stoping her from falling. Zoe quickly got to her, throwing her arm around the other girl’s waist and pulling her to her body.

“Madison, what is it? What is going on?!” Madison was muttering words that made no sense to her. All Zoe could understand was ‘Michael’ over and over again, but she had no clue who ‘Michael’ was. “Go back to bed, Madison, please.”

“No.” The blonde shook her head firmly. “I... Cordelia.”

“What?”

“Cordelia.” Madison said again, finally moving to the right direction of Cordelia’s room. Zoe was too surprised to follow her and stop the girl from opening the door and walking inside.

As expected for the later hour at night, Cordelia was sleeping, Misty’s arm around her waist, and Madison almost stoped herself with the view. They loved each other so much, it wasn’t fair.

“Cordelia.” She whispered not because she didn’t want to wake her up – her goal was the exact opposite – but because she couldn’t find her voice. “Cordelia.”

Luckly for her, the woman opened her eyes, surprised and sleepy. “Madison? What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.” Madison was still feeling her heart beating fast against her chest and her hands were shaking. Suddenly, she lost air completly and fell to the ground.

Cordelia jumped out of bed like it was on fire, running to Madison’s body like a fucking champion. Misty was also up now and Zoe was stading by the door in surprise. They exchanged a look when Cordelia took Madison in her arms, kneeling in the floor by her side, and Zoe made a move to help.

“No.” Misty said, also getting up. “Zoe... It’s okay, we got this.”

“What is going on?” Zoe asked.

“A panic attack.” Misty sighed and walked towards her. “Go back to ya room, Zoe.”

That night, between sobs and shivers and another panic attack, Madison let everything go. She thought she was stronger than that and she knew she would hate herself in the morning, but the image of Zoe being shot in her head again wouldn’t stop flashing in her brain. Cordelia was shocked, terrifyed and proud, all at the same time, and she couldn’t stop huging Madison and Misty after they finished telling her everything they knew. They would still have to wait for Mallory to get up to tell her part in all of this, but Madison was relieved that the Supreme knew about the Antichrist now. They could get ready for him if he ever came back.

And she was right about hating herself afterwards, because Madison couldn’t believe that she, between Swampie and Junior, was the one who broke up first.

"Do you think we should tell them?" Mallory was the one who made the question, even if probably everyone in the room was thinking the same.

Madison knew they should, more in a sign of respect for the Council then actually because they needed to know, because she thought Zoe and Queenie would be just fine without that information, but at some level they deserved to know. For a brief second, she wished she had Nan's power to read Cordelia's mind, she wondered how different it was for her since she didn't remember anything. Was it like hearing someone telling you a story? Or was it like a deja vú?

"I think is the right thing to do." Cordelia sighed, looking between the three girls in front of her. "But only if all of you agree with it."

"It would be good to not hide it anymore." Mallory shrugged, even if she was looking at floor with a scared look on her face. Madison kept forgeting she saw more than any of them.

Misty was the next one. "They're strong girls. And if he ever come back..." She stoped to look at Cordelia with a sad smile. "more people will be ready."

Madison knew she had to say something, but all she could think was how was they supposed to tell Zoe she died and no one saved her? How was she supposed to sit in front of the girl she love - because yes, she does - and tell her the Antichrist killed her and Madison did nothing to stop it?

"Madison?" Cordelia's voice was soft, but still scared Madison out of her thoughts. "What do you think?"

The girl shook her head. "I'm not..." She looked at Cordelia, a instable breath leaving her. "What if they can't handle it?"

I can't handle it, she wanted to say. Madison was there, she saw 80% of the things that happened, and she can't deal with that. She has panic attacks, nightmares, flashbacks everytime she hear a loud noise or enter the room where the students were killed, she can't sleep right, she never feel hungry, she can't look at Zoe and Queenie without imaging a bullet in their heads and she's tired of looking outside the window searching a blonde boy with dark clothes. Madison wished she wasn't cursed with knowing things like that, because she was fucked up forever now.

Cordelia was about to say something when there was a knock at the door and she opened shortly after. Zoe's head appeared from behind it and Madison felt her heart start to run like usual when the girl was around. She was back for almost two weeks, but she was still not used to see her again. Madison wondered if her heart would ever stop doing that, it couldn't do good to her health, not that she was super worried about it.

"Sorry to interrupt." Her eyes flashed quickly at Madison, before she looked back at Cordelia. The blonde girl realized Zoe haven't saw her since her mental break down during the night, because she was hidding in Cordelia's office since Mallory got up. "Queenie is here."

Everyone could see how Cordelia's face light up at the mention of that - Madison had just told her that in the other timeline Queenie never got back. "That's great! Is she set up yet?"

"She's having a delayed breakfest." Madison realized she skiped that one, but she wasn't worried about it. Her stomach probably couldn't handle eating until it stoped twisting inside.

"Well..." Cordelia looked at Madison one last time, receiving a small nod from her. "can you two do me a favor?"

"Sure." Zoe finally entered the room, closing the door behind her. "What do you need?"

Cordelia sighed. "Actually, Misty, can you assume Queenie's class for the morning?"

"Course." The woman smiled, even if she had no clue what she was supposed to do with the teenagers in Queenie's class.

Madison almost laughed at how funny her face looked, but Cordelia talked again before she could. "You could take them to the garden and teach about the flowers. Call it a test." The Supreme joked with a wink. "It's time for us to have botanic again. Anyway, Madison, can you assume Zoe's class?"

"Are you insane?"

"What?"

Madison and Zoe talked at the same time, both too surprised to hold back their tongues. Madison looked over her shoulder at the girl standing there, a little amused with her reaction. Zoe blushed a little, but didn't said anything to make things better.

"I'm not insane, Madison, thanks for checking." Cordelia rolled her eyes and took a paper out of a pile by her side. "Here, it's the schedule."

Mallory grabbed the papel to reach him out for Madison, but the former actress refused to take it. "I don't want to do it." I can't do it, she corrected herself in her head.

"Have you heard a song, how is the name?" Cordelia put on a great show to pretend she was thinking really hard, but Madison could sense her bullshit from far. "You can't always get what you want?"

Madison decided to joked back. "It's from your generation, Cordy, you should know." She took the paper and ran her eyes over it. "You shitting me."

Zoe had classes from eight thirty until noon, that was insane. Cordelia only smiled at her. "See, she could use some help. Be nice with the girls. Moving on, Zoe, when Queenie is done, can you two come here, please? We have a important thing to discuss."

"Yes, sure, I will let her know."

Cordelia also smiled at her, a true and proud smile that made Madison roll her eyes. "Thank you, Zoe."

Madison could only watch as the girl left the room, ignoring Misty staring at her with a smile. A clear image of Zoe walking around their room on her PJ’s crossed her mind, but she wasn’t sure if she should allow her thoughts to go there. Before she left during the Apocalypse – before Zoe died – the taller girl used to cross the room to turn the lights off and then walk back to Madison to slip in her bed. Now, after the Apocalypse – in a world where Zoe didn’t get shot – the girl would cross their room to turn the lights off and then walk to her bed in the other side of the room, leaving Madison alone.

“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me?” Cordelia asked, one more time taking Madison out of her thoughts.

“We told you everything.” Mallory answered for them.

“Actually...” Suddenly Misty was blushing and playing with the tip of her shawl. “I think we have a few more tadpole in the lake.”


	13. Chapter 13

Teaching was harder than Madison expected it would be, not that she had the time to picture this, because Zoe’s first class started right after she left Cordelia’s office – after Misty promissed to take the frogs back to the swamp. On her way down the stairs, she saw Zoe and Queenie leaving the kitchen between whispers, probably trying to find out what was so important that Cordelia found some substitutes for them. She felt a mix of feelings running her body. She was glad more people would know, she was glad Zoe would understand why she had a mental breakdown and why she refused to sleep in most of the nights, but she was also scared, because Zoe would understand why. Madison wondered if her brain would ever work the right way around Zoe, because these dualities were a common thing when the girl was involved.

She hoped Cordelia wasn’t expecting much from her, because all Madison did was tell the girls to open their books and make a essay about whatever they wanted to. Madison would pay a million dolars to see how Misty was doing, because there was no way she would be doing a better job. The second class went almost the same way, a few girls asked where Zoe was, she told them to write that on their essay and then was over. The third class was funnier, because Mallory was a part of that one and she found amusing to see her being all nerd and treat her like Madison was actually her teacher.

Of course her plan wouldn’t work forever. She was in the middle of wondering if Zoe was freaking out with the new informations, when a girl raised her hand in the air and started talking.

“We were already praticing the spells in this class.”

Write for one day wasn’t going to kill her, but Madison could understand – shocking as it was. “You will go back to that tomorrow, I’m sure.”

“But...”

“We already read the whole book.” Another girl said, rolling her eyes. “You should teach us real magic.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware I was talking to my boss.” Madison had her limits, she was still, you know, Madison. Trying to be a better person, actually be a better person, and change completly were different things.

Mallory decided to jump in her deffence. “I think is nice to recap a few things.”

“We’re not recaping anything. All we’re doing is read this while she looks at her phone.” The second girl talked again.

Madison was playing Sudoku, they should respect that. “Ok, Hermione Granger, you can write five more pages for that.”

“Are you crazy?!”

“Helena!” Mallory tried to shush her, pinching her arm while looking at Madison, who had finally put her phone in the table and got up from the chair.

“What? Is not like she’s going to do anything to me.” The girl, Helena, shrugged. “She’s nothing here.” Her eyes were a beautiful blue shade, cold as ice when she turned to look at Madison. “She’s not a teacher, she’s not from the Council and she’s not a student. She’s just occupying a bed.”

Madison couldn’t say she was lying, but she also wasn’t going to admit that out loud. “You want to see real magic?”

“If you can do it.” The girl teased with a grin.

Madison was about to sent the girl’s desk on fire when the clock on the wall behind her reached noon. None of the girls moved, too interested in the discussion in front of them, but the distraction of the clock was enough to make Madison think about what she was about to do. Why was it so hard to be a better person? And why she had the feeling that Misty did a better job than her after all?

Madison sighed. “You are dismissed.”

She choosed to ignore Helena’s satisfied smile. Well, that at least took her head out of what was going on in Cordelia’s office. Madison waited until the last girl, Mallory, left the room, to sigh again, before turning the lights off and exit. All the girls were walking to the kitchen to lunch, but Madison turned to the other side, trying really hard not to run to the front door. The weather was warm, as expected to New Orleans, and there was no wind to make it more bearable, but still felt better than be inside with everyone else. Madison took her cigarette pack from her pocket, before sitting in the first step at the stair. God sake, Hell was hard, but being alive was proving to be hitting the spot in that.

The blonde was outside for maybe five minutes when the front door opened and, even if she wasn’t looking, she knew it was Zoe. She could feel when the girl was around because her heart imediatly started to run. The taller girl sat by her side, running her hands in her jeans and not saying a word, even if her eyes kept turning to Madison every five seconds. Madison sighed again and threw her cigarette in the floor, puting it out with her boot because she knew Zoe hated the smell of it.

“That was a lot of informations.” Zoe finally said, taking a rock from the ground to roll it between her hands.

“I can imagine.” Madison agreeded quickly. “By the way, I ruined your class.”

“All of them?”

“Nah.” The actress giggled softly. “Just the last one. You should have more faith in me.”

Zoe rolled her eyes, bumping at Madison with her shoulder. “Did you eat today at all?”

“I ate hope from the girls.”

“Madison.” It was a warning, but that only made Madison laugh again. “I’m serious, you have to be hungry.”

The blonde shrugged – she wished she could have her cigarette back. “Not really. I’m not hungry these days, everything I eat makes me want to puke.” For a second, Madison forgot that was not the Zoe she wanted her to be and just used her full honesty.

Zoe looked worried for a while. “You have to eat.”

“I know.” That talk was so familiar that made the blonde's heart jump in her chest.

They went silent again, looking at the street like something more interesting was happing there, when in reality there was not a living sould around. Madison wondered when people started to avoid that street. Was it right after Cordelia went public with magic or did something else happened that made people run from there? She hadn’t realized it the other time.

“How different were things?” Zoe asked, almost like she could hear Madison’s thoughts.

Madison ran her hands up and down her own arms, not sure how she was supposed to answer that. “It was the same. I mean, I got here a year from now, so Queenie wasn’t here anymore and you were the only teacher, so Cordelia had to help you with the classes from what I have heard.”

“You didn’t saw how it was without Queenie?”

“No, Michael took both of us out at the same day.”

Zoe shook her head, probably thinking how it would be or feel like. Madison was glad that Zoe would never know. “How was him?”

“Gorgeous as fuck.” Madison snorted. “Not fair, really. Blonde hair, blue eyes. If I hadn’t met him in Hell, I would never imagine he could be... you know, the spawn of Devil.”

“What about us?”

Madison felt her heart drop to her stomach, imediatly feeling the nausea attack her at the same time her throat closed. “What do you mean?” Zoe didn’t answered her, but that was enough for Madison. “Who told you?”

“No one.” Zoe hesitated, before sighing. “Ok, Misty did it, but just a little bit. All she said was that we were very close.”

“And you just figurate it out with that small piece of information?” Madison moked.

Zoe’s cheeks were a deep shade of red when she whispered: “You also said something about it.”

“What?”

“Yeah, well... You have a lot of nightmares. I always thought they were about Hell, I know it’s not the case anymore, but sometimes you would... talk.” Zoe scratched the back of her neck, blushing even harder.

Madison was also blushing, but she would never say anything about it. “And what did I talked about?”

“Nothing very clear, you just murmur my name sometimes. I thought you were calling me at first, but you never answered when I talked to you.”

“That still dosen’t explain how you could possibly know what happened between us.” The blonde hugged her legs close to her chest, trying to make her smaller – maybe desapear.

“I told myself that...” Zoe took a deep breath, finally turning her head to face Madison. “I always told myself that if I ever found a way to bring you back I would tell you how I felt, dosen't matter how scared I was or how you acted around me." That explained a lot about the kiss in the other timeline. "Knowing what I know now, joined with the fact that you have ignored me for the last weeks, what Misty said and what I heard while you slept, I figure it out it was the case.”

Madison stayed quiet for almost a whole minute before smiling. “I wish I could call you Hermione Granger right now, but I just did that with the most annoying girl I ever met, so it’s probably not a good idea.”

Zoe let out a nervous laugh and threw the rock that was in her hank to the grass in front of them. “Why didn’t you said something to me? Actually, don’t answer that, I know why.” She sighed. “I would probably do the same if I was you.”

“I’m glad you’re not me.” Madison whispered, feeling relieved and scared at the same time. “You don’t deserve to know how that feels.”


	14. Chapter 14

Later that morning, after all the girls had got to their rooms to do their things, Zoe walked to the kitchen to grab some cookies in the pantry, ignoring Queenie questionative look. She had an hour until her next class and she wasn’t going to waste it with a proper lunch, so she ran back to her room, where Madison was sitting in her bed and smiled, waving the package at her.

“I got lunch.” She said, taking her shoes off to join the other girl. "Who said it first?" Zoe asked, jumping in bed by the blonde's side.

"Said what?"

"You know, the big elephant in the room, who was the one who talked about that first?" She opened the package and offered to Madison, who took a cookie out.

Madison didn't ate it, but Zoe pretended she didn't noticed it. "It was me."

"No, it wasn't." Zoe mocked before stuffing her mouth with a cookie. "I know you."

"Why do you think I wasn't the one?"

"I just said, I know you." Zoe shruged and took another cookie to her mouth. "How did I said it?"

Madison sighed, finally taking a bite out of her cookie. "I don't want to say it."

"Why not?" The younger girl frowned as confusion hit her.

"Because you will want to do the same, but we're not the same." Madison took another bite of the cookie, suddenly very interested in the sheets. "It's not the same."

Zoe nodded, deciding not to push the subject. “You’re right.” She cleared her throat, taking another cookie. “So, since we’re doing that again, do you want to go out on friday?”

“Oh my, Benson, are you asking me on a date?” Madison teased with a smirk. “Smooth.”

The brunette rolled her eyes, pushing the girl away. “Forget it, I don’t want do that anymore.”

“No, no, you can’t just change your mind like that.”

“I can do whatever I want.” Zoe showed her tongue, amuzed with the situation. She didn’t knew how things were before Mallory went back in time, but she couldn’t believe she was there, sitting in her own bed, mocking Madison and exchanging jokes like old friends. They started with the wrong foot for sure, but she was happy they found a way to make it work like that.

Madison only laughed, taking the cookies from Zoe’s hand. She picked one, but stayed looking at the blue package like it was giving her tons of answers. “Yes.” She looked up, meeting the other girl’s eyes with a sigh. “But you better take me somewhere I don’t have to look at any of these girls face.”

“You will warm up to them.” Zoe smiled and leaned over a little so she was able to touch Madison’s knee. “And they will warm up for you.”

“I couldn’t care less about them.” It was true. Madison didn’t cared about any of the nameless girls she meet since the day she got there, even if she finally understood how important the Coven was to her.

Zoe rolled her eyes and grabbed the cookie out of Madison’s hand. “Loser.”

“Thief.”

They shared a happy smile and enjoyed the silence to finish eating the rest of the cookies. It wasn’t the best lunch, for sure, but it tasted better in Madison’s mouth than any other thing she tried to eat. Everything tasted like ashes in her tongue, her stomach could barely deal with anything before wanting to get rid off all the things she ate, and she was never hungry, but maybe talk with Zoe while she ate made things easier for her.

“Did I told you about Kyle?” Zoe asked after they layed side by side in the bed, not touching even if they were very close to each other.

“He got sent away.”

“Yes.” The younger girl agreeded with a nod. “But there’s more. Didn’t I tell you?”

Madison felt almost scared to what she was about to hear. “No.”

“Well, it’s not a big deal.” Zoe shrugged. “He never learned how to be normal again, he still couldn’t control his arms and he wasn’t able to talk anymore, so he did not go well when we kicked him out.” The girl frowned, feeling sad with the memories. “I could never forgive him for what he did to you and I suppose that was too much for him.”

“What do you mean with that?” Madison hated how low her voice could get when she was unconfortable or scared with how a conversation was going. She thought it made her look weak and someone weak could never succede in life, that was what her mother always told her.

“He jumped in front of a train.” Zoe felt her chest go heavy with emotions, but Madison deserved to know. “He didn’t died like he expected. We did create something amazing that day in the morgue, even if it was a wrong thing to do.” She crossed her arms, trying not to show how much that affected her. “I heard about it on the news. A boy with no documents and no family, hit by a train and stuck in the hospital for God know how long.”

“When did that happened?”

“About two, three months after you died.” Zoe answered without turning her look to the blonde. “I went to the hospital to see him and... He wasn’t normal, Madison, he really wasn’t. He was a nice boy before he died, but what we did to him... It fucked him up.”

Madison didn’t said a thing about it. She knew it was her fault, just another thing to add to her long list of bad actions in her life, like killing Misty and let Zoe die were right after. Madison always felt like she was the Queen of the world, like she deserved more than others and that she worth more than everyone else, her opinion was the only one that mattered and she could do anything she wanted. That, associated with the wish to prove herself, was what made her break in the morgue that night to bring Kyle back. Thinking that was something Zoe wanted might had helped her make her mind, but it truly had very little to do with it.

"How did you explain the different skin tones and all the scars?" Madison felt bad for him too. Kyle had become a really big and stupid baby, dependent of everything and with too many demons to deal with. But she could relate to him, because Kyle's love for Zoe couldn't be questioned and he would do anything for her. Madison used to envy him, he had Zoe and all her attention.

"I didn't had to do it."

"They didn't asked? That has to be new."

Zoe shook her head and closed her eyes to stop some tears to fall. "I killed him. For good."

Madison stoped all movements, suddenly too shocked to say anything. She knew Zoe was capable of doing a lot of things, she wasn't so inocent like she looked, she had the instinct to protect herself like everyone else, but to hear that she killed a boy that followed her around like a puppy was kinda surprising.

"I'm sorry you had to do it." Madison wasn't exactly sorry Kyle was dead - he did killed her - but she was sorry that Zoe, with her big heart and sensitive feelings, had to be the one doing that.

Zoe shrugged, trying to look like that wasn't a big deal when they both knew it was. "Well, I did battle a Zombi legion." She joked, but her words hold very little intent behind them. "All I needed was a spell."

"So..." Madison's grin was clear on her voice and Zoe was rolling her eyes before the girl was even done talking. "no killer vagina this time?"

"You don't wanna know." Zoe teased, making the blonde giggle before they fell in silence.

Madison wasn't happy that she was back from Hell again, but she was happy to see she might end up changing her mind in the end. Deep inside her she knew they would have to deal with the end of the world again, that maybe the future was not meant to be full of flowers and puppys and that Zoe and her - if there was a Zoe and her - have a long way to go yet, but she was glad things were going just fine.

"Tell me something you didn't tell me the other time." The brunette whispered to the ceiling. It occured to Madison that they still had to look at each other again.

"What do you mean?"

"You know." Zoe sighed. "I told you something that I didn't told you when the... are we calling it the Apocalypse? Anyway, when that was happening." The Council member frowned for a second, wondering if that was a good idea. It probably wasn't, but it wasn't like she had something else to say that would be a lighter conversation. She could talk about the Moving-The-Frogs-Back Operation that was supposed to happen that weekend, but she really didn't want to be the person who tells Madison she would have to help grab some frogs from thr backyard - Cordelia was the Supreme, she could deal with that.

"Why you didn't told me that you killed Kyle?" Madison was more confused than mad, even if her voice didn't quite followed her feelings. "You said he was kicked out."

"And he was." Zoe agreeded, purching her lips together for a second. "And I don't know why I didn't tell you." That made Madison heart drop to her stomach. How silly of her. That wasn't the same Zoe who kept the information from her - that kissed her. It was a different Zoe, a year younger, that never saw the Antichrist and never had to deal with the iminent end of the world. That wasn't the Zoe who said she cared about Madison, neither was the Zoe who called her to ask how she was doing when she was in Stevie's house.

"I mean... I probably was scared to tell you I killed someone." The girl continued, grabbing the sheets with the tip of her fingers to play with and distract herself. "I can see it might not be the best idea ever."

"Do you honestly think I would mind?"

Zoe remained in silence for a few seconds, not sure if she should say what she was thinking, until she finally decided to go with it. "Maybe I was scared you wouldn't."

Madison sighed heavly, almost painfull, when the other girl's voice hit her. "I'm not a good person, you know it since the day we met." The blonde whispered back, too afraid to speak a little louder. "The list of things I care for was always very small, and you also knew that."

"You're wrong." Zoe shook her head and moved her body so she was laying on her side, turned to face Madison.

"The fact that I went to Hell not once, but three times proves I'm right."

"Madison..." The taller girl licked her lips, suddenly feeling her mouth very dry. If she could read Madison's mind, she would know just how much the girl wished she could desappear. "you might not be the best person in the world, we all know it would be..."

"Misty." They said together and laughed with thr syncony they shared.

"No one can beat that." Zoe joked with a fond smile - she liked the swamp witch very much. "But my point is that you did the impossible to save this Coven and to save the world." She started to slowly move her hand so their fingers would be touchig, giving Madison enough time to move away if she wanted to. "You're a good person."

Madison let a sad smile make it's way to her face, feeling her body tense up when Zoe's fingers reached hers. "You said that to me before and I keep saying that you only say that to you can feel better about yourself." She didn't moved her hand or ran away like she wanted to, but she also didn't made a move to hold Zoe's hand or get closer. "You always try to see the best in everyone, but you have to learn that not everybody have a good side."

"I know that, did you forget I met Fiona too?" Madison didn't laugh like she expected, but her smile got less sad and that was enough for the moment. "I'm not going to say I don't care about what you think about yourself, because I do, but I will say I don't agree with you."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Disagreeing with each other is the best thing we do after all, right?"

"Maybe." Zoe smiled. "But I recently find out I'm very good at teaching people, so maybe I will teach you that I'm always right."

"You have to be insane." Madison shook her head, starting to feel the heavy weight be taken away from her chest. "We both know that the only person that is always right is..."

"Cordelia." Madison finally moved her head to face Zoe when they said the name together again and this time they laughed so hard that Zoe almost rolled out of bed.

When they stoped and Zoe returned to her position, Madison turned her hand around in a shy gesture to let the girl know it was okay. Because it was. With a happy smile, the younger girl enterwined their fingers together, but didn't moved closer - she didn't want to do all work or make Madison unconfortable.

"There is a thing I didn't told you." The former actress said after a while. She could feel her heart racing, butterflies on her belly and she was sure her hands had to be sweaty, and even if she wasn't confortable with how her body was reacting, she was fine with how they find their way around each other.

"Okay." Zoe squeezed her hand. "Do you want to tell me now?"

"I don't know if I should."

Zoe was a little surprise to see Madison Montgomery holding herself to say something, but she wasn't going to make a joke about that in that moment. "I promisse you I will pretend I didn't hear it if it's too stupid." She teased to light the mood.

It worked, because Madison rolled her eyes at her, even if she waited another minute to finally say it. "I love you."


	15. Epilogue

Zoe looked at herself in the mirror with a half smile and a confidence that she wasn’t actually feeling. She was nervous, truly nervous, the type where you want to run and hide and never come back. Her dress was simply amazing, Queenie did some amazing job to sew all of that together, it really looked expetacular. Hair, did by one of Madison’s old friends, and makeup that both Cordelia and Mallory helped her to aply. Zoe felt beautiful, even if the nerves were making her shake a little bit.

She was about to grab her lipstick again, when the door opened and Mallory’s head appeared in the door frame. “Hey!” Mallory looked twice as happy as she normally was. “Are you ready?”

“I think so.” Zoe sighed, bitting her bottom lip while she wondered if she was in fact ready.

“You look gorgeous, Zoe.” Mallory’s smile went ear to ear. “Madison is going to pass out when she sees you.”

Zoe rolled her eyes, walking away from the mirror to grab her celphone. The last time she talked with Madison, she had to remind her to don’t be rude to people, and she wished the girl had answered her so she could stop worrying about it. “She better, because this dress is very hard to put in.”

Mallory giggled, finally entering in the room, slidding inside. “I know, right!” Zoe looked the younger girl up and down, before finally smiling. “But she will.”

“You look great, Mal.”

Mallory’s blush was ignored when she quickly started talking again. “Cordelia is also ready, so I think we can go find our places.”

“Yes! I can’t wait to sit again, this heels are already killing me.” Zoe gently pushing Mallory out of the room with a grin. “How’s Misty?”

“She’s fine.” Mallory shrugged when they started walking in the hallway to reach the stairs. There was a couple of girls walking around, talking, but they didn’t gave them any attention. “About to puke, but so happy I thought she could end wars at the spot.”

The brunette laughed with the mental image that popped. Cordelia was also nervous, so nervous that she forgot to put her heels before she left the room for the first time. Zoe talked it was really cute to see them acting so silly around each other or because of each other. Since they started dating, almost a year ago, after Nan brought Misty back, it was clear that they were two idiots in love, and to see them getting married was bring everyone joy. Even Madison was acting less bitchy since they started to plan their wedding.

They were right for each other, they fit, they belonged, and Zoe was sure she could start crying everytime she thought about it, even for a second.

“Sup.” Zoe turned around in a jump when she heard Madison’s voice so close to her. The former actress was walking towards Mallory and her, using the same dress they both were, but definitelly looking better in it. “Coconuts is calling you.”

Both girls rolled their eyes at Madison stupid nickname, but Mallory quickly started to walk to the direction Madison blindly showed her finger over her shoulder. Coco st. Pierre Vanderbilt had joined the coven less than a month ago, but Mallory and her were already attached to their hips. Of course it was easy to Mallory to feel like that, she did remembered the other woman from before the Apocalypse, but Coco was warming up to her really fast, for no one surprise.

“You’re looking amazing, Maddie.” Zoe leaned a bit to smooth the blue fabric in Madison’s shoulders. The four bridesmaids were wearing a beautiful blue dress, made by Queenie, with a little help from Mallory – and Cordelia when no one was looking.

“You’re not looking bad yourself.” Madison replied with a smirk, exhaling some confidence that Zoe envied. “I hate the dress, though.”

“It brings out your eyes.” Zoe offered, making Madison roll her eyes. “You make fun of me because I only use black clothes, but you’re worse than me.”

Madison scoffed and started to walk down the stairs. “No one is worse than you when it comes to fashion.” She made a quick stop when a image poped in her head. “Ok, maybe Myrtle.”

The younger girl giggled, leaning over to press a sweet kiss in Madison’s cheek. “But you love it.”

“To be honest, I love more when you’re not using anything.”

“Gross.” They looked behind to see Queenie, crossed arms and a grimace. “You two suck, I shouldn’t have allowed you to share a room all those years ago.”

“Like someone could bare to share a room with you.” Madison also crossed her arms and the two rolled their eyes to each other.

Madison and Queenie had come a long way after Zoe and her started dating. Queenie was Zoe’s best friend, so when Madison became her girlfriend, the girl demanded that they talked and spent some time together. Worse day ever for everyone, was when she make them go to the movies together and they almost killed each other. No one ever talks about it.

“Please, stop. Be nice.” Zoe was tired of saying that to them. In fact, she thought she sounded too much like Cordelia when she did that.

“Anyway, I have to see if Misty didn’t change the flowers again.” Queenie almost jumped over the stairs to see if the Swamp witch wasn’t moving the decoration around like she told her not to do. Not for the first time, Queenie considered if she should lock Misty in some room until the marriage started.

“Weirdo.” Madison whispered under her breath, making Zoe pinch her arm. “Shit, dude!”

“Don’t call me dude!” Even if Zoe was laughing, she punched Madison’s shoulder. Not strong enough to hurt, but enough to make a point. “I regret you so much.”

“You’re still in time to tell me to fuck off, you know.”

“I’m under the impression that you wouldn’t, even if I told you to.”

Madison smiled. “You’re right, you’re stuck with me.”

“Lucky me.” Zoe tried to pretend to be sad about it, but she couldn’t hide the happiness from her eyes.

“Besides, you can’t tell me to fuck off right now.” The blonde started walking again. They reached the kitchen, were a group of girls were chating and eating some of the treats behind Queenie’s back, while the black girl shouted out of the window (“TAKE YOUR FUCKING HANDS OUT OF THAT VASE, MISTY DAY!”). “We have some duty after this marriage. And not the kind of duty that Cordelia and Misty will have, sadly.”

“Geez, Maddie, don’t say that.”

“Oh, come on, Zoe, we’re all adults here. We all know they will be fu...”

“Guys, it’s going to start!” Mallory didn’t even stoped while she ran pass the kitchen, comming from outside, to reach the living room where they were suppose to reunite to walk to the aisle as the braidemaids.

* * *

 

“You know, I heard that the house is being sold by a third of the original price because of the ghosts.” Zoe was reading a flyer, walking blindly in the sidewalk, while Madiosn leaded the way to the Murder House.

Madison didn’t missed that place, for sure. In fact, when Cordelia told her they should buy it to make sure nothing bad would happen to anyone else, Madison told her she was insane. But the Supreme got a point, not that she would say it out loud, even if the former actress would rater to be enjoying her time in the Academy while Cordelia was away in some romantic trip with Misty, also know as their honeymoon.

“Of course. Only stupid person would buy it. Thirty people died in there, why would you want to live in it?” Madison resisted the urge to smoke. She promissed Zoe that she would try to stop, so that’s what she was going to do. Is not that Zoe was giving her shit because of that, but Madison knew how much the other girl hated the smell, and the taste in her mouth afterwards, so she was convinced that the better option was to stop. Until that point, she managed to stay two months without putting a cigarette in her mouth.

“Well, I think is nice that Cordelia decided to buy it.” Zoe almost hit a post, since she wasn’t looking where she was going, but Madison quickly pulled her out of the way, keeping her arm around Zoe’s waist for safety. “Thanks.”

“What would you do without me?” Madison joked, straighten her sunglasses with a smirk. “Now, let’s go, I want to take you to that restaurant I told you about when we’re done.”

* * *

 

“Can you relax a little?” Madison rolled her eyes, not moving her eyes away from her phone. “It’s a baby.”

“How can you be so calm about it?” Zoe’s voice was a little higher than necessary and she couldn’t stop touching the tip of her shirt while they waited just outside the house. It looked just like any other house in the neighborhood. If she didn’t knew what was inside, Zoe wouldn’t give it a second look.

“I saw the adult version of it.” The blonde managed a sarcastic smile, putting her phone back in her purse. “Come on, momma and daddy got home a while ago, I think is safe for us to go in.”

“Madison, that dosen’t sound like a good idea.” The taller girl bit her lip, suddenly a lot more pale than she was just a second before. Cordelia had told them about her vision of this couple for a while now, but Zoe wasn’t sure yet if they should interfere in something they weren’t even sure about.

Madison started walking towards the door, ignoring the panic in her girlfriend’s voice. “We’re not kidnaping anyone, Zoe, relax.”

“Are you sure? Because it feels like we are.”

The blonde scoffed, stoping just in front of the door. Neither made a move to knock. “Can you stop being you for just a second?”

Zoe arched her eyebrowns in surprise. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Ok. Madison knew she had to take care now. Zoe was getting mad. “Just stop worrying so much. We’re giving them Cordelia’s number to call in case of an emergency. It’s not like we’re going to sneak in, grab a baby and run away. Besides, Cordelia said it’s not even born yet.”

“Don’t call him ‘it’.” Zoe argued with a scoff.

“I’m sorry, Benson, but how am I supposed to call the Antichrist?” Madison needed her cigarette if they were going to keep talking about it. “John? Do you think he will look like a John?”

“He’s a baby!”

“I saw what the big baby can do!” Madison shouted back. She openned her mouth to say something else, but quickly gave up. Her shoulders dropped when she took a deep breath, pinching her nose. “It’s already going to be weird enough to hand a card with Cordelia’s professional information on it to a couple that dosen’t even know they’re expecting a baby, or whatever, ok? Let’s not making it worse.”

“I’m not doing anything.” Zoe whispered, crossing her arms and turning around to face the black door in front of her.

Madison couldn’t stop her smile. Zoe and her still fought like an old couple sometimes, like enemies even, but she couldn’t manage to be mad at the other girl. Zoe was too cute, and too gorgeous, for her to stay mad for long, not to mention that all she had to do now was lean closer and kiss that inviting lips.

“Marry me.”

“Uh?” Zoe turned around so fast that her neck snapped. “What the hell, Madison?”

“Not right now.” The smaller woman shrugged. “One day.”

“Madison...”

“What? You’re going to say ‘no’ because I don’t have a ring here with me?” Madison kept her smile in place, even if she was scared to actually hear a negative answer.

Zoe’s face softened, almost melting when she saw how nervous her girlfriend looked. “I just wasn’t expecting you would do it in the middle of a fight.”

“Was that a fight? Sounded like a normal day for us.”

They shared a laugh and a complicit look that made Madison weak on her knees. She still couldn’t believe how lucky she was, how lucky she was to had find someone that, not only could handle her, but also loved her so dealy as Zoe did.

“I’m not saying ‘yes’ until I see the ring.” Zoe joked, raising her hand to knock in the door.

Madison waited until the echo stoped, before talking again. “Convenient.” She teased back.

“Of course. I wanna see if it’s worth the headaches you’re going to give me.”

The blonde was about to pull Zoe into a kiss when the front door opened and a young girl, looking maybe a little younger than both of them, raised from the house. “Yes?”

“Are you Emily?” Zoe asked politely while a man joined the girl at the door.

* * *

 

Madison set down at the table, reaching her arm out to handle Zoe’s cone to the girl. “Thank you, babe.” The brunette said, eyes shinning when she saw the vanilla ice cream ball in her cone. “It’s my favorite.”

“Yes, well, that’s is the only flavour you ever get, so I could figure that out.” Madison rolled her eyes, licking the lemon ice cream from her own cone.

Zoe managed to eat half her ice cream before doing the question Madison was waiting for. “Can I taste yours?” Always the same story... With a sigh, Madison gave her the cone, before crossing her arms. It was lost. She didn’t ate even half of it. “Hm, it’s really good!”

The smaller girl fought the urgency to roll her eyes again, instead leaning over to take Zoe’s ice cream from her hand. “I don’t know why I even have hope. You, my love, is a lost cause.”

Zoe poked her tongue out. “Shut up.”

“You know, I don’t even like vanilla ice cream.”

“But you loooove me.” Zoe sanged, teasing her while biting a big piece of the ice cream.

“You got me there.” Madison pretended to be surprised for a second, before they burst in laughs.

“Oh, isn’t that cute?” They heard Queenie’s voice before they saw her approaching, Mallory and Coco right behind her, holding hands.

Madison sighed heavly. “Oh, joy, here comes the losers.”

Zoe kicked her shin under the table, making her girlfriend jump in surprise. “Hi, girls! Grab some chairs and sit with us.”

“Does any of you like vanilla ice cream?” That earned Madison another kick.

* * *

 

“Maddie, do ya want tea?” Madison told Misty inumerous times not to call her like that, but the swamp witch kept ignoring her every time. Madison recently came to terms with herself and realized she didn’t mind it anymore, even if she was going to pretend she did.

That’s why she rolled her eyes before answering. “Are you trying to poison me, Swampie?” ‘Swampie’ also stoped having a mean connotation, it started to have even a little tenderness attached to it.

Misty giggled, not turning around from her task of putting hot water in two mugs. “Watch’a doing here?”

“Zoe asked if we still have some chocolate. She ate all the ones I bought her last week.” Madison opened one of the cabinets to search for the said chocolate.

“I think I have one in the top cabinet.” Misty pointed her finger over her shoulder, grabbing a spoon in the drawyer.

“Thanks.” Madison still got surprised with how kind Misty was. It was just a chocolate, but she was willing to give it to Zoe if the girl wanted. That made the former actress feel a little bad, because she did denied ice cream to Mallory earlier that week.

Misty slowly turned around, arched eyebrowns and a confused look on her face. “What?”

The younger blonde also turned around. “What?”

“Did Madison Montgomery just thanked me?” Misty’s smile became wilder and wilder as she talked, until finally she looked like a maniac.

“Oh, fuck.” Madison scoffed. “I have manners, I just don’t use them.”

“Yeah, I know.” The Cajun pointed the spoon at Madison. “Is just I never thought ya would use it with me.”

“Don’t get used to it, Swampie.”

Misty laughed softly, shaking her head. “Can ya hand me the honey?”

“I don’t see Cordelia.”

“Oh, ha-ha.” Misty rolled her eyes. “And now ya’re making jokes.”

Madison hidden her smile turning around to take the honey jar from the cabinet. Her face was straight again when she walked towards Misty to give her the jar. “I also have puns, if you’re interested.”

Misty shook her head one more time, opening the jar to take a full spoon out of it. “Zoe is really good for ya.” She put two honey spoons in one mug, before putting four in the other. She loved honey.

“Yes, she is.” Madison agreeded. “Just don’t let her know about it, or she won’t let me live.” Surprisingly, when the older woman turned around to show her a smile, Madison smiled back, before rolling her eyes. “Can you make another one?”

“I thought ya didn’t want one.” Misty said, even if she was already pulling another mug from the sink.

Madison shrugged. “I will take it to Zoe. Don’t say a word about it.” She added quickly when she saw the mischievelous look in Misty’s eyes.

“What are you girls doing?” They turned around when they heard Cordelia’s voice at the kitchen door.

The Supreme was using a fluffy PJ, with some big and soft sock that reached her knee, one hand resting in her growing belly. She had a lovely smile that made Madison feel warm inside.

“Zoe wanted chocolate and Madison will do anything she asks.” Misty explained quickly, ducking away from Madison’s hand fast, since she knew it was coming. She laughed, slidding the third mug towards Madison. “Ya can’t say it’s a lie.”

“Fuck off, Swampie.” She grabbed the mug with the hand that wasn’t holding the chocolate bar and started to walk back to her room.

“Ya’re welcome!” Misty shouted behind her.

“I’m telling her I made it!” The smaller girl shouted back, already running upstairs.

Madison almost ran back to her room, trying to avoid every girl in the Academy, which she gladly did. She had to do some juggling to open the door, but she managed to do it without droping nothing, sucess. Zoe was laying in bed, the same position she was when Madison left to go find the chocolate, a book in her hands and a frown while she absorbed every word that was written in the white page.

The tender smile that made it’s way to Madison’s lips should be ilegal. She walked to the bed, placing the hot mug in the nightstand by Zoe’s side, before taking the book out of the girl’s hand.

“Maddie!”

“I got you something.” Madison quickly shushed her, leaning for a kiss while placing the chocolate in her lap.

“Oh, you’re the best!” Zoe grabbed the bar like it was pure gold and the blonde couldn’t stop laughing at the vision. “I love you!”

Madison leaned for another kiss, trying to put all her feelings at it. Zoe’s hands droped the chocolate bar, moving to Madison’s neck to pull her closer and intensify the kiss. The smaller girl moaned quietly when their tongues touched, but, even if it was the best feeling in the world, she finally put some distance between them, but didn’t moved too far. It was like it was impossible for her to do it.

“I love you too.”


End file.
